View Full Version : what is the daftest thing you have done or seen done fishing
billy bennett
04-04-2008, 13:17
last year was fishing aroung anglsey,had a bucket of bait and bought loads of plugs, as i was using the plugs and changing them i put the wet ones in the bait bucket to dry, at the end of the session dumped the old bait wrapping paper in a bin and set off home to discover all the plugs were wrapped in the paper.
someone had a good find, about £40 worth.
another time while boat fishing the mersey on a big tide at anchor,a boat full of idiots pulled up next to me and put the anchor in and tied it half way down the boat,as soon as the anchor got a grip it nearly capsized the boat. we had to up anchor and drive over and cut the rope, not one of them had a life jacket on .
sweeper driver
04-04-2008, 13:32
Whilst learning the back cast, I made a momentous cock up in my timing, lost sight of the lead, and then felt an almighty pain in my right shoulder....five ounces of lead hurts. :doh:
I was out fishing on a mate's boat one day when the engine spluttered and died, as we were drifting toward's the rock's he shouted across to another mate that was standing next to the anchor, to throw it over the side. Which he did.
He had two anchor's onboard so decided as an extra safety measure to give it the deep six aswell, so the order was given.
Just aswell I noticed the anchor rope and grabbed it before it went over the side,.......the two anchor's were tied to the same rope,......one at each end!.
chris grace
04-04-2008, 14:09
the daftest thing I've heard was my brother in law telling me that my gas lamp was dangerous to use when fishing.
I asked him why and he said that because I smoke I shouldn't use a gas lamp as if it went out and I lit up I could blow myself up.
I told him I would know if it had gone out .
he said that I might not notice and could get badly burnt.
I told him again that i would know if it went out .
He asked me how I would know?
I told him it would go dark,he didn't say much for the rest of the session!!!
Easy one for me.
After blanking, on a cold winters night in North Norfolk, i packed up and was driving off, only to realise i had left my lamp in the car park so i reversed onto what i thought was grass, instead it turned out to be a weed covered dyke. Splash - car completely stuck half filled with water. No one else around, intsead of ringing the AA like most normal people i thought i could get pulled out.
After scaring a few old ladies at 1.00am i eventually found a farmer with a 4x4 who could pull me out.
After searching the cow shed we found his tow chain, we went to the car park where i attatched my car via a nice solid bit underneath.
This "solid bit" turned out to be my drive shaft which snapped like a twig.
Realising my front tow loop is hidden under the plastic grill, we got the car out.
Remarkably not a scratch, but no drive shaft, no power to the wheels.
So eventually the very nice man from the AA came and my car was towed to the garage. (by now 5.00am and frostbitten)
Cost me £700 quid or so
think mine would have to be when i was fishing on a pier in winter.good slack line bite,struck into what seemed a nice cod. half way in i spit out a ciggie what i had in my mouth,which hit my line and ..... well you can guess the rest. learnt my lesson though.
Tagman, class, i love it, sounds like the sort of thing i wud do. :oops::lmao::lmao:
1. Fishing underneath a pier, casting out sidewards, not getting much distance, so decided to to some overhead thumps, 1st try, let go to soon, weight hit the underside of pier, came down and hit me on the head which resulted in a trip to hospital for a fractured skull. The funny thing was, when the weight hit the pier, i chucked my rod down, ran forward about 5 steps, put both hands over my head, but the weight still just managed to find a gap between my fingers. If i had just stayed put nothing would of happened.
2. Packing up after a days fishing, picking up my rod and walking the 3 miles home. Went to go fishing the next day, realized that the day before when i left fishing that i didnt pick my rucksack up, so out of all my gear all i had was a rod, lost all my tackle. I was a stupid child, was about 12 i think at the time, and i didnt start smoking the weed till i was 14 so no excuses there.
3. Oh and i see someone put his rod together, didnt attach the reel or anything and was flicking it about, pretending to cast while saying "powercast" "i am the master caster" then the tip section flies of and covers about 100 yards in the general direction of the sea never to be seen again. The look on his face was priceless, f**king hilarious
Whilst out on a charter fishing trip the skipper was trying in vain to moor us up to start fishing after a couple of goes he managed to get the only anchor he had stuck in wreck so all we could do was go round in circles.
Whilst fishing a local club match on Neyland marina I got my trace stuck in the wall. I thought I could reach down and pull it out and ended up slipping down the wall into the sea. Luckily the water only came up to my waste but the embarrassment and nearly 100 other anglers taking the **** out of me all day. I had to wade round to the slip way in full view of everyone. :wallbash:
TimmyButler
04-04-2008, 16:15
Arived for a 4hour night sesh, in February. Had been given a gas powered lamp from my dad. I was Just about losing light when i had set up, so i flicked on my gas powered lamp. didn't turn on, so i did it a couple more times and bang, the whole thing lit up, flame coming out of the side of it it and everything. Stood there with this gas canister pretty much on fire in my hand, so what to do? stand there like a lemon for about 1-2 seconds trying to blow the fking thing out, which didn't work. realised what the hell am i doing, it's going to blow up in my face, so chucked it about 10metres in front of me and ran in the other direction. hit the beach floor and bang. all the lantern split into a shed load of pieces. not quite sure what happened there, dont think the cannister even blew, but **** me right up for a few minutes none the less.
not going to invest in anoter lamp like that!
anotherbarrelMrHooper
04-04-2008, 20:07
I shant name and shame, I was invited boat fishing in cornwall out of the fowey ( I think it was the fowey).
After nearly having a head on collision with another boat,the captain moored us up to a bouy to start fishing.
The bouy was in fact a marker for the yacht race which was fully underway.
You can imagine the abuse.
lol, brilliant reading , :D :D
Ive done the usual...forgot me bait,fork,spare line ,cloth,.Even turned up to collect a mate to go fishing,and he asked where the top sections of my rods were..forgot those.
I had the biggest Flounder ive caught in years and didnt want to kill it .So i phoned my wife and asked her to come down and take a photo, as i had no scales or camera with me.She didnt really want to bother as she was shopping,so would have to go home for the camera ,but agreed....as i said it was the biggest id had in years!! When she arrived i held the fish up ready....she said ,its covered in mud ,wash it off first...you guessed it ...as i washed it ,it wriggled and swam off real slowly as if it was sticking two fingers up!!LOL So no weight or photo.!! A classic case of the one that got away.LOL...to make it worse other club members who were also fishing witnessed it happening.
Ive also spread my gear and bait out in a comp..only for a rogue wave to take the lot when i was only on my first cast.
Ive also gone to fish a comp in the bitter cold at Christmas time, only to have my wife phone and say..i tried to book you in...but the comps tommorrow!!
I also went to try Hinkley point.... i fished in front of the power station....as the tide went back i realised id been fishing where the hot water comes out!!LOL
valeofglamfan
04-04-2008, 21:48
I think my powercast down the knap yesterday took some beating for being daft. I started sea fishing again last October after a 7 years or so lay off.I'd had a dabble at pendulum in the old days and wasn't particularly good at it but sometimes got 1 or 2 off ok. I was determined to have a go last night.
I moved down the pebbles forward of my lad and the bloke on my left and set up for it. I set up my angles, swung it out, let it back and then launched into it ! My mag elite made a brief horrible noise which was followed by that awful crack off noise - and out to sea at a great rate of knots went my weight, rig and length of bright orange 70lb shock leader ! What a plonker ! I was concentrating so much on the technique I hadn't put the reel into free spool OOPS! :doh:
kdnewton5
04-04-2008, 21:51
fishing for tope off a deep water rock mark in north wales with my dad, who wasnt paying attention as his rod went flying off the rod rest and into the sea!!!luckily or unluckily it was an old beachcaster n reel, but we wer gutted for months after.
being snagged with a spinner in the docks pulled it as hard as i can to see the spinner flying up and landing right on top of my head 2 trebles stuck in my head luckly wasent deep lol,
thing i always do !! ether throw my bait in the water with my knife or sissors inside it or somthing lol!!!!:doh::doh:
going fishing and saying this knife ant very sharp running it across my finger and slicing my finger open lol
went fishing with my friend got snagged pulled as hard as he can one tip snapped lol thought well we can turn this into a boat rod lol,
king of leon on the site then had ago at his other rod pendulum and we think the line tangled round the tip and his other tip snapped only thing to do was LAUGH lol, then i snapped mine about a week later :lmao::wallbash:
going a long way away to fish and leaving my bait at home!!!
all funny moments lol :drunk:
welsh_wonder
04-04-2008, 22:12
Once Wen i Was Younger Learning How To Use A Multiplyer I Used To Cast Using The Old Sling Around The Side Of U Technique And As I Watched My Bait Go Out I Noticed It Had A Nice Bobble Hat Attached To The Hook! Only Took My Mates Hat Clean Off His Head! That Was A Close 1!
I used to cast out baits, and then reel them in, like a spinner.
Mind you, my friend casts out feathers and lets them sit on the bottom with no movement.
I used to cast out baits, and then reel them in, like a spinner.
Mind you, my friend casts out feathers and lets them sit on the bottom with no movement.
ever catch anything like it lol?
wriggitt
04-04-2008, 23:11
Fishing under the welsh bridge at Shrewsbury when i noticed my landing net floating off. So i dived in after it, had my waders on at the time and they were pulled up, also i had momentarily forgot I couldnt swim, just about managed to grab my landing net and scramble my way to the bank before I went under. I carried on fishing and had over 40lb of chub.
marc portch
04-04-2008, 23:36
during the eighties..the days of carp fishing pranks, i used to have a mate who slept through anything, except a run. One night we turned his bivvy round so the door faced the back..then set of his buzzer....he must have ran full on into the bivvy wall about 6 times before he realised.
Some bloke who was fishing next to me on a public park lake in Birmingham, decided he needed the toilet, so disapperared into his bivvy clutching a carrier bag. (the idea being to lean back on the bedchair and do your worst into the bag). when he came out, looking all refreshed, he pulled on the hood of his thermal one-piece suit and didn't look too happy. he had missed the bag and crapped in his hood!! lol
One january night fishing at Linear in Oxford, it was freezing cold, so me and my mate had a few brandy coffees. While he was up the bank having a **** i went down to set his alarm off but slipped all the way down the bank..straight into the lake...'kin freezin!
Same swim, similar time of year...I had a run about 3 in the morning, came flying out the bivvy and first step, slipped in the mud, flew about 3 feet in the air and landed on my back. I then slid all the way down to the water and knocked my pod and all 3 rods into the water. after digging around in the side i finally found the rod with the fish on it only to reel in about 50 yards of line tangled around my rig, with a fish on the end...with all 3 of my lines tangled in it. Spent the next hour sorting out the mess, re-casting and scraping hand fulls of mud out the crack of my ass and up my back....
such fun!
good job they've sorted the banks on Manor now!
Naughtydorf18
04-04-2008, 23:50
1. Carry rods into house and turn them vertical. Fed hungry ceiling fan.
2. Forgot fish tethered on outside of boat. Fired up motor and chop chop.
3. Got shocked on electric fence while sneaking onto Indian reservation to catch the lunkers they hoard.
Nothing too bad really...yet. Just the usual, forgetting to put reel in free spool, cracking off mid pendulum and smashing tripod to bits, forgetting rig wallet when light tackle fishing, and of course having no spare hooks on me, forgetting bait etc.
Funnies things I've seen though (twice) is fellow anglers winding up a cast, then hooking their tripods at the moment of power application :lmao:
greys-fanboy
05-04-2008, 02:44
A few years back me and my best mate were spinning with lures off the end of a local pier catching bass, mackerel and gars. As I was reeling mine in it got caught in a big lump of weed close to the pier that was drifting in the tide. I lazily tugged at it and suddenly the lure came flying out (it was an Abu Toby I believe) and I felt intense pain in my right cheek just below the eye, and the sensation of weight on it.
The lure had pinged out of the weed and one of the barbs of the treble hook had impaled my face. My mate looked at me and just shook his head. Now let me set the scene; it was the height of summer and the pier was full of holidaymakers as well as fishermen. As my mate pulled out a set of forceps and set to work on removing it, I could see people watching in disbelief. After a short while he managed to remove it and though there was quite a bit of blood, we carried on fishing because I'm 'ard :spiteful:
Afterwards he admitted when he saw me, he didn't know what bothered him most - the thought of frogmarching me through the crowded pier with the lure in place to hospital to have it surgically removed, or the thought of his fishing session being cut short!! :hammer:
billy bennett
05-04-2008, 02:52
this is turnig out to be an exelent thread,even had post,s from usa, keep it up lads .
on the other hand it is proving the other half right, fishermen are all MAD. :wiggle::wiggle::wiggle::wiggle::wallbash:
Cracking thread! Mate, no names, even more of a beginner than me. Down slapton last feb, very windy and horizontal rain. Mate had borrowed some rods and gear, freezing cold. Mate gets all set up, walks down towards waters edge, and lets fly with an over head thump. Satisfied, heads back to his tripod and tightens up. Starts watching tip light. I walk over for a quick chat, and notice in the beam of me headtorch my mates rig sitting about 5 yards up the beach from the water!
Years ago fishing in the summer in a estuary with my cousin we had our shirts off as it was scorching...as i went to cast,i swung the rod round sideways for a more lob style cast and heard my cousin screeming really high pitched...as i was half way through the cast i couldnt really stop...but the rod wouldnt come through as it was being held back by a unseen force...as i looked round i could see my weight hanging in the air and my hooklength was tight as the hook was embeded in my cousins nipple ,id hooked him in it.He stood there jumping and turning while screeming with a weight swinging about his chest.This only lasted a few seconds ,but it almost seemed to be in slow motion at the time .
I once saw a angler cast out when feathering for mackeral...his top section of rod flew out too....he tried to reel back in quickly, but the 6 hook rig had hit the rocky sea bed...so there he was snagged up with half the rod on his line in the water,knowing that if the line snapped he would lose half his rod...you guessed it ,the line eventually snapped.
I once saw a angler on the old pier at Ilfracombe. He had just bought the latest Daiwa beachcaster....he carefully undid the rod bag and proudly got the new rod out and leant both sections carefully against the wall...it was a windy day and a gust of wind blew,and the rod hit the deck and before he could grab it the top section blew under the railings and into the sea.
Then there was AN ACCIDENT WAITING TO HAPPEN(a true story)
A person i know bought a small boat...he had no knowledge at all of boats or the sea and was a accident waiting to happen...the boat and engine cost him £300(he asked me to go fishing ,but i thought it too dangerous with him in charge)..he went out in the estuary on a big tide...found a spot he liked and chucked the anchor over and put the rope around a cleat at the BACK of the boat and as the line tightened the boat was facing the wrong way into a big ebbing tide,with rough water,he said water was splashing into the boat!!He could have drowned!! (after he told me about the water coming into the boat, i told him that he MUST get some lessons,but some people just wont listen!!) The next week he went out again...sped off down the estuary and went straight towards a sandbank...he hit the bank,went flying ,hurt himself and lay in the bottom of the boat hurt..he then phoned the coastguard and said im in the bottom of my boat hurt in the estuary.They said ""put the anchor out."".but he couldnt move,"where are you they asked?" he said i dont know im in the bottom of my boat drifting ,so cant see ..help........This is a true account ...luckily he was rescued. But still he went out in the boat....untill(luckily for him i think)...one day he moored it up at a different area on a huge tide...it was on a grassy bank above a wall and he used only the anchor to moor the boat!!He even forgot to tie it off properly (the boat sat still at high tide)...as the tide dropped the boat went with it over the wall before the rope tightened...half the boat ended up on the wall,the other half on the bottom of the river as the tide ebbed,...the boat actually ended up split in the middle!!So luckily for everyone that was the end of his boating exploits.I also heard from others that he used to think boaters were frienly as they all used to wave...what he didnt know is they werent waving in a friendly manner...he didnt know which side to pass other boats!!Scary really when you think about it.
A person i know bought a little boat
blankerman
05-04-2008, 09:50
Nothing too bad really...yet. Just the usual, forgetting to put reel in free spool, cracking off mid pendulum and smashing tripod to bits, forgetting rig wallet when light tackle fishing, and of course having no spare hooks on me, forgetting bait etc.
Funnies things I've seen though (twice) is fellow anglers winding up a cast, then hooking their tripods at the moment of power application :lmao:
we best not mention wilba doing that then in case it embarrasses him:hammer:
dunworking
05-04-2008, 11:27
me and my mates fished the night away at buemaris boat yard. had a great night, no fish only realized as the sun came up the tide whas out ,and we whas fishing in the weed and mud.:oops::wallbash:
Fishing Langley point one winter shivering in waders and Parka (remember those rain sponges?).
Huge Bite, rod rest fell over and rod flew into the water ........... followed rapidly by me grasping wildy.
Filled my waders with icy water and soaked to the skin was more pee'd off with not having caught the fish than realising what a lucky escape I'd had.
About ten years old. Learning to cast. Forgot to let go of line.
About twelve years old. Fishing for trout with maggots. Friend hooks a pretty good one. Too busy watching him to notice a large Muscovy duck sweep out of nowhere and take my younger brother's bait. Feeling responsible, I dived in and freed it. The duck was fine (was a small hook and had caught on the front rim of its lower bill), but it was a bit of struggle and ended up quite a bit "pecked".
There's a lake in North Wales that has a mythological colony of freakishly giant-sized eels living in its murky depths. A friend and I, aged fourteen or so, decided we fancied a crack. Our freshwater rods were underpowered for the task but I had a 12ft 2-4oz beachcaster we thought would manage, so we took that, some mackies and the only tiny torch we could find. We "borrowed" a boat and rowed out quite late at night -- each of us telling our folks that we were staying at the other's house. The torch gave out very quickly, but the moon was full and the sky was clear so we kept going. It was only after five hours that we discovered that the hook length wasn't connected to the main line and had been sat in the boat with us all along. We'd essentially been taking depth soundings.
Me and a few friends decided to go trout fishing at a friends farm. As we were deciding what area of his farm we were going to fish from a lad over heard us and came over. He said you going fishing for trout at this time of day (4pm) to which we replied of course. He then tells us you will have to wait until morning now as all fish go to bed at 6pm. (haha).
captain birds eye
05-04-2008, 14:17
I was about 10 years old and i used to always fish with a crab line just off the side of the wall with my rods a bit further out.One day i saw a bloke next to me throwing his crab-line out with a massive over hand throw, i could see he was throwing it a long way so thought i'd try to do the same.Chucked the crab-line out as hard as i could, it managed to get out as far as the hook length as i felt a pain in my index finger, looked down to see the hook inbedded in my finger.Had to go to hospital and have it cut out.Never tried to do that again lol.
When i was at school i would race home to go fishing! I would jump on my push bike and pedal flat out to a local pond only to find that in my excitement id either forgotten my rod or rucksack LOL Another time i was about to pull a dingy up the shore,when somehow i dropped the rope which resulted in me jumping in fully clothed to grab it before it got pulled out to sea LOL
John Mason
05-04-2008, 14:45
I heard of a daft mishap years ago on one of the Aberystwyth boats.
Someone was bringing in a good Thornback on the port side and kept "striking" with the rod despite being advised not to. He got it to the surface, "struck" and this time the hook popped out, the fish swam away while the sinker flew up and back through the air, coming down on the head of someone fishing on the starboard side.... apparently the blood was everywhere!
Cheers - John
I knew a couple of lad's, both brother's, one of them bought a small boat to do a bit of fishing, and it was other one that told me the story. He got hold of an outboard for it, but unknown to him it was way to powerful for the size of the boat.
After a succesfull launch into the middle of the harbour with 3 soul's onboard, with the bow pointing toward's the harbour entrance and the open sea, he opened her up,....full throttle,.....the little boat more or less stood straight up and sank engine first.
I was about 10 years old and i used to always fish with a crab line just off the side of the wall with my rods a bit further out.One day i saw a bloke next to me throwing his crab-line out with a massive over hand throw, i could see he was throwing it a long way so thought i'd try to do the same.Chucked the crab-line out as hard as i could, it managed to get out as far as the hook length as i felt a pain in my index finger, looked down to see the hook inbedded in my finger.Had to go to hospital and have it cut out.Never tried to do that again lol.
Had exactly the same happen to me, still got the scare to prove it, another hospital trip for me aswell.
we best not mention wilba doing that then in case it embarrasses him:hammer:
ok, wont mention that it was wilba........or bobby down the ranny a cpl months ago :shutup:
:lmao:
billy bennett
06-04-2008, 02:07
in the seventys mid i think , me and my brother were messing about in wet suits in peel harbour,
2 blokes in a car trying to launch a boat down a weed coversd slipway, we asked if they needed a hand they said no, and backed there car down to the waters edge to launch the boat, as they pusheds at the boat to get it off the trailer , the whole lot ended up in the water , boat, trailer, car, no grip on the weed.(this was not the main lifeboat sliup it was the first one down the breakwater.
we eventualy stopped laughing and tied a rope to the car and it was pulled out by the lifeboat tractor .
at the time it was funny but now it seems quite sad for the owner of the car as it was completely submerged when it was finaly winched out.
i hope the driver is reading this.if so say hi
i have been fishing for over 40 years ,it is supprising what has happened in that time that springs to mind.
someone shoot me, turning into my grandad
Just started fishing, and thought i would have a bash at fishing in an open. didnt have a clue where to fish, so thought i would go fish where there was other people(made sense to me).. got there set up, and waited to see what other people casted out.. and found that he was only casting 40-50... with me thinking what the hell, al throw it as far as a can... lol.. getting a few funnys looks of other people around me. couple of casts later, as the tide was going out, i casted in again but this time i heard a PING and felt like my sinker had hit a solid object, and looked up and could see some rocks sticking out.. lol must of been fishing in about 2 foot of water for a couple of hours.. turns out they were casting into a deep gully right infront of them and there was rocks at the other side which i was casting on, lol, no wonder i didnt catch oout.
Another time fishing rocks, i was losing loads of tackle.. reeling in as fast as i could only to get snagged about 5 feet away from is... so stuck the rod as hard as i cud, and the lead came out the snag.. out the water.. and flung in the air and hit me right in the 'privates'... lol i was just glad i didnt get a piercing from the hook or that would of been a rather embarrasing trip to A&E..
ctwhitelaw
06-04-2008, 15:16
I once took a walk along our local canal to find a friend of mine casting mackerel feathers in and i said what does this packet say , "he replied sea fishing Rig" and I said well then lets think about what you catch in here , Roach , Carp , Pike and Perch they are all coarse fish and all live in freshwater not the Sea therefore you are indeed the stupidest person I know
He was still very hopeful and continued casting to produce only 1 thing
a LIDL's bag
when i first started sea fishing i decided to have a bash near a local beach and rock mark it had been cold the night before looked ok so i decided to go and have a fish off the rock my biggest mistake ever i slipped and fell a good 20 ft just missing my spine ended up with couple of bruised and broken ribbs luckly wife was with me
after i went and purchased a floaty and proper boots
nuts about fishing
07-04-2008, 15:38
went fishing and forgot my rod, lol
Also managed two treble hooks one in each thumb, whilst trying to hook a deadbait on with the rod bent over. So cold i just let go, there was no way i could shake them hooks.
Went to hospital where they injected me with anasthetic pushed the hooks through cut the barbs and pulled back out.
Didnt feel a thing however they put so much anasthetic in i was really ill for a week!(honestly felt awfull) Plus my thumbs looked like popeye's.
BirdyBoy
07-04-2008, 18:14
think mine would have to be when i was fishing on a pier in winter.good slack line bite,struck into what seemed a nice cod. half way in i spit out a ciggie what i had in my mouth,which hit my line and ..... well you can guess the rest. learnt my lesson though.
Been there....done that.....dont you feel silly:roll1:
When i was a bit naughty,a few of us went to a place we shouldnt of realy been. Owners house right across the lake,DIVVY with us decides to light a fag with a zippo lighter! Result=quad bikes,landrovers and police all over the place!:busted_co:busted_co:busted_co
Mikeybhoy
07-04-2008, 20:48
remeber 1 day at portencaple. i was watching my dad cast. it was a hot day so it was off with the jumpers. i remeber seeing this thing flying throw the air. next thing my dads rod was double over on the retreive. a small crowd gathered only to see him pull in his jump hahahaha. must have hooked it on the back swing
smiley73
09-04-2008, 10:46
it has to be my boy at ten years old...
took a short (freebee) break to Butlins, Minehead a few summers ago and took a light rod and reel with a few scraps of bait.
After about an hours fishing, he curiously walked over and , coyly asked 'do you think we will catch any battered Cod?'
Trying to hold back the grin, i replied 'i dont think so mate, the chip-shops buy them off the trawlers first thing, so they are ready for supper'
to which he looked genuinley dissapointed.
It took him weeks to figure out about 'battered Cod'
Bless 'im :happy:
ever catch anything like it lol?
I foul hooked a small cod and that was it.
I was sat in my boat about 50 yards off a slipway tied to a pontoon and float fishing for a macky for tea-nice sunny day, feet up and keeping a lazy eye on the float- when the most inept pair of chinless wonder students appeared on the slipway
They were in a yellow dory with an ex-military mariner 40 on it that broke down and were towed in at LW springs by one of the harbour patrol boats.
At the end of the slip is a lip which is hidden by the water but has markings to say how far it is to it. The guy fetching the trailer came backwards down the slip in a white Fourtrak van and pushed the trailer off the lip-then drove the Fourtrak off the lip with one wheel too.
Rather than use low range 4x4 to pull it up he revved the tits out of it in 1st until the water was steaming and eventually it came back up.
He didn't bother to pull the trailer up the lip though and it was on about a 30 degree angle sideways as well as 45 degrees backwards.
I shouted across to his mate that the trailer was p1ssed and got an arsey response so left them to it...as they just clipped the ratchet onto the bow eye of the floating boat and drove forwards (revving the tits off it in 1st again) yanking the trailer up the lip with a bang leaving the boat on the p1ss...
Then they tilted the engine DOWN and drove off without even securing the boat, whacking the skeg on the floor on the way up...
gulp me drug
09-04-2008, 15:52
this morning was bright and sunny, so waddled to the end of morecambe poo pipe at low. took with me my 3oz rod, gulp me dog and my ibs (not a bit of fishing tackle!). after about 10 minutes the ibs kicked in. no chance of making it back to shore.
so waded out and dropped me kecks......that's why it's called the poo pipe, i suppose!
I had a nice Zziplex Federation & then bought a pair of custom built Primos. First night & match I used the Promos I broke two new Fuji tip rings & had to swap back the Federation. On the way home my mate snapped 6" off the tip of my Federation in his car boot.
Gutted
OH POLLOCKS !!!!!
09-04-2008, 19:12
i had a brand new landing net and put it on a peg when i was reeling in a fish and i whent to grab the net to net the fish and it was gone... it was nowhere to be seen..
so the fish fell off and all i could see was the landing net handle going under the water ... i was very annoyed ...
great thread guys,
i think my best ones were;
recently while fly fishing for mackies, the wife wanted a go while i setup her spinning rod. turned my back for 1 minute and heard a high pitched screem. She managed to foul hook my son (age 7) in the cheek. it went in past the barb! he had the option of going to hosptial or letting me have a go with my pliars. it came out after a min or so, and a lot of blood. he didnt cry tho, i was amazed. i would have been in tears lol.
about 14 years ago, i was on holiday with my folkes on the isle of arran, (with my future wife) we hired a boat 12 footer with outboard) in brodick bay and setout fishing with feathers. after about 2-3 hours the mrs tried to move us to another spot, but something happened that the outboard flipped up. this being my first time in a boat, and being clueless as to how to fix it we started drifting. 30 min later and seriously freeking out not being able to the the engine back into the water someone saw us waving for help. we must have been half a mile out. the guy that rented us the boat came out and pressed a little button and the engine went back down lol. utterly embarised but thankfull.
essexboy
11-04-2008, 11:31
Fishing Loe Bar with a mate (big guy) it starts to rain, he pulls o his "waterproof" all in 0ne. Tells me "bargain got it for a tenner in the pub". 20 minutes later its shrunk up his armpits and shins and he's black from head to foot. Turns out to be a chemical warfare suit filled with charcoal presumably nicked from some local air base!
paul shenton
11-04-2008, 11:57
Its going some year now whilst chub fishing on the river dove in what i considered the prime spot very deep close in. Well first cast went out while i got my self compfy and sorted out. Rod arched over and before long a decent sized chub on the mat.:clap2: Grabbed the keep net and in rush gave it a mighty fling out into the deep. Unfortunately i had forgot to put the bank stick in. Spent the next 3 hours trying to foul hook it with 3 lb line hooked it about 10 times but they tend to weigh a little heavier when wet:sad2:
I remember years ago a lot of us was down my local venue skinningrove(see avatar)
it was a hot day & lots of macky getting caught.
What made us all laugh was a young lad about 10 years old fishing on the low ledge & fell in when he got back on the jetty one guy said what was it like (cos this 10 year old can't swim) the young lad said out loud.... All Dark n Bubbles... we had to laugh at him :whistling:)
the funniest thing!
walking along the front in paignton, devon,while on holiday one year, saw a fellow walking into the water in chest waders with a folding landing net slung over his shoulder.i sat on the wall to see how his luck went ,he was casting a lure but every so often he got it caught in the net.my old man caught up with me so we both sat to watch the entertainment,after several more hook ups in the net he was cussing at the top of his voice, ending up storming out of the water and snapping the rod over his knee until he got to the butt which refused to break and throwing the lot into the sand.seeing us pi**ing ourselves laughing at him ,he told us to f**k off and disappeared.
made our holiday that.
most annoying thing.
fished the tide in and out on the ogmore estuarty in south wales with not a nibble,an old woman walked up the beach with two black labs ,right under our rod tips one of the dogs jumped into the water and came out with a bass in its mouth,only about a lb but after 6 hours i,d have given my right arm for a pout.back home with my tail between my legs.
bassface
12-04-2008, 11:51
a mate of mine bought a new inflatable & outboard the very 1st time he used it he left the moorings SITTING on his lifejacket on the back of the boat, well the inevetable happened out at sea he fell off, he then started to chase after his dinghy swimming madly & completely exhausted himself out, well he reckons he was about 5 minutes away from giving up when a bloke in a small sailing boat picked him up, he was sitting on the back of his rescuers boat thanking him for saving his life when the boom swung over hit him on the head & knocked him back into the water where he had to be rescued again by the same bloke, oh what i would give to have seen it. :roll1:
skillpot
12-04-2008, 12:11
the biggest mistake i made was to take laxatives on the day i was fishing. couldnt go a toilet to save my life so took some laxatives about mid-day. was planning on a smutt bash with ht around 10pm. cut a long story short about 7pm the suns still out and im fishing a very busy beach with alot of walkers etc. my tummy goes awol. nearly crapped myself there and then run over to the public toilets closed at 6pm doh. anyway banged up my buddy got the bucket out. you wouldnt believe it but i had my strides round my ankles and im going through the eye of a needle, cant control it. then bang my rods nearly of the rest and going to sea still on the rod rest. with a 9lb smutt attached. basically i had to pull up my strides running down the beach holding my pants at the same time trying to get the fish in. if ever in needed a couple of extra hands was then! the faces of people close by was shameless. i hid in my buddy till dark and the close was clear and resumed fishing.
never take a laxative the day you go fishing!!!its painfull!
shy tangler
12-04-2008, 15:31
Many years ago I took my boat out into Langstone Harbour for a flattie session. One of our other club members asked if he could follow me as he was fairly new to the game. Off we went to one of my marks and he anchored about 40 metres away from me. After a couple of hours and several fish he shouted over that he was going back in and waved goodbye. He started his engine and pulled up the anchor, and then went back to put the engine in gear. I heard a loud noise and looked over, and the engine had ripped the transom from the back of his boat and sunk to the seabed. He had enough sense to run to the bow and this lifted the transom from the water, stopping the boat sinking. I quickly motored over and got him aboard, shocked but thankfully not injured. I managed to tow the boat into shallow water before it sank, allowing him to salvage it at low tide. It turned out that the boat was rotten as a pear.
Another time a boat turned up on our local slip ready for launching by the inexperienced owner. He asked the best way to launch, and due to the nature of the slip we advised him to tie off the trailer on a rope and drop the boat back on this with help from his fishing mate. He moved the boat back over the lip of the slipway and stopped his car to tie off the trailer. He tied the rope to the trailer and then released the trailer from the ball hitch, but unfortunately had forgotten to tie the other end of the rope to the car. When he released the trailer he was straddling the trailer and it flew off down the slipway with him attached. The boat flew into the water dragging the trailer with it, and the man slowly sank beneath the surface as the trailer went into deeper water. Luckily the man was not hurt in any way, but I was doubled up with stomach cramps and tears of laughter flowing down my face:clap2:
mrfishjersey
16-04-2008, 22:51
I am sure I am not the first or the last to have been two up on a plastic tender paddling back from the mouring to the pontoon with my mate sitting on the front and me paddling at the back, only for him to jump straight onto the pontoon and watch the tender flip over on top of me and smack my head a beauty. He found this highly amusing.....I didnt!! Plonker!!!
1. Not me but dad bait up his own thumb, then have to go to hospital, they ask whats wrongs with him , he puts up his thumb and says "hook complete with bait" lol.
2. 2 weeks ago got the tide wrong by an hour and ended on rocks thinking we were safe from tide only to be cut off within 15 mins and being pointed at a lot by dog walkers. Ended up seeing a lifeboat on the horizon, luckly they were not coming us or i would have died of embarasment.
3. Out on a charter boat with a m8 and his stepdad and his friend. Had just rebaited after pulling in a nice ray and needed to clean my hands. Saw a bucket of sea water and started to wash my hands in it, my m8 turns rounds and with a smiles says, "oi u dick, thats f@@king ****" i was like yeah yeah and started flicking it in his face. I soon knew by the look on his face that it was indeed someones no1. His stepdads m8 was to short to get his winky over the side and the dirty bugger hadnt thrown the bloody pee back into the sea. Last thing i thought was in the bucket. My m8s still not happy to this day bout me flicking it in his face, always makes me laugh mind.
saw a guy playing up to a small crowd of onlookers on barry docks mess up his cast,result one onlooker with hook and lugworm hanging from nose.
Heard a good one the other day but forgot to mention it! Lad went out trolling on a small dingy and caught a decent bass unhooked it and said to my mate" Oh its one of them dogfish i dont want that" Before my mate could stop laughing the lad had released his dogfish(bass) backover the side LOL
gazthelad
19-04-2008, 14:55
me and robdog off here along with another mate wer spinning for sea trout in a local river years ago near a quite big dam, rob hooked a decent seatrout and we cudnt lift it up the wall from the water as didnt want line to snap or loose the fish, the wall we fished from was around 8 or 9 feet high from the water so i decided to hang our other mate down by his feet to get the fish, once he managed to get the sea trout and throw it up i just automatically forgot and let go of him so that i cud get the fish, needless to say he endid up in the water and soaked but we got the sea trout and we found it so funny although he did not.even makes me laff now still thinking about it.
steve2_1
19-04-2008, 15:12
fishing poole quay a while back, getting plenty of school bass :-) baited up with sand eel, casted out, WHACK!!! thought id hooked that double figure big bass i was after, then spotted a sea gull bout 80 yards out, flapping all over the place! had to wind it in, seagull was visualy very pis~sed off, untangled line from wing, it then painfully pecked my knee in apparent rage, before flying off! mates and bystanders were in hysterics
Glenwood
22-04-2008, 09:00
Bought a new lightweight rod on the way to a session in my mates boat. Gets out of car with new rod in hand and promptly closes the door on to the top section. He still thinks it is funny.
I was fishing with my (at the time) 6 yr old in a local pool, he was finding the 5m pole a bit long, so i thought i would make it shorter by undoing the butt cap and sliding it over the other sections, great idea.
until i tried doing this over the water, the weight of the butt section made me angle the pole downwards,
the butt section then slid over the other sections, over the float, shot and hook, and dived to the bottom of the lake like U-233.
gone for ever
I have accidently pulled my fishing mates' tripod over twice (not on the same night) scratching his very shiny ABUs. I will hear about this until the day I die I think.
While fishing on Llandudno Pier as a kid, some smart arse caught a decent sized edible crab, and decided it would be fun to chase the kids around with it. After a few steps, he stopped, turned purple and screamed.
It took 3 men, all with pairs of pliers to get its claw off his thumb, as us kids danced around laughing at this.
Eventually, the claw was removed, and the fella packed up and asked directions for the local A&E as the wound was down to the bone.
Happy days!
last year was fishing aroung anglsey,had a bucket of bait and bought loads of plugs, as i was using the plugs and changing them i put the wet ones in the bait bucket to dry, at the end of the session dumped the old bait wrapping paper in a bin and set off home to discover all the plugs were wrapped in the paper.
someone had a good find, about £40 worth.
another time while boat fishing the mersey on a big tide at anchor,a boat full of idiots pulled up next to me and put the anchor in and tied it half way down the boat,as soon as the anchor got a grip it nearly capsized the boat. we had to up anchor and drive over and cut the rope, not one of them had a life jacket on .
Fishing a pier at daybreak cast 1 rod to the inside baited up with sandeel looking for a bass set drag and placed it on pier rails, loaded the other rod with a cliped down rig baited with worm and as I was my own blasted it, unfortunatly the grip weight o f the second rod caught the first rod world record for casting 2 rods at the same time hour of casting to catch rod which had sunk to bottom luck was in managed to catch line and pull up rod and reel
Fishing is not a matter of life and death it's more importment than that
:fishing::fishing::fishing:
Cracking thread! Mate, no names, even more of a beginner than me. Down slapton last feb, very windy and horizontal rain. Mate had borrowed some rods and gear, freezing cold. Mate gets all set up, walks down towards waters edge, and lets fly with an over head thump. Satisfied, heads back to his tripod and tightens up. Starts watching tip light. I walk over for a quick chat, and notice in the beam of me headtorch my mates rig sitting about 5 yards up the beach from the water!
Classic!!:roll1::roll1:
i done that on prestwick beach.. as soon as i realised i threw it straight up in the Air i dropped my rod and shouted RUN :roll1: the weight came down yards from were i casted,.. were john had been standing
know someone that had to wade shoulder deep through the gully at prestwick as had got stranded sitting on the bar wouldnt listen to the rest of us when we told him it was time to move lol
Another one was up at furnace quarry in the bay and my mate gary went watch this for a power cast only to see the tip of his rod fly up in the air and land in the water about 4' out on a ledge he was lucky 20mins and a set of mackerel feathers later i hooked the tip and brought it back up.
my own incident at furnace was landing on the rocks having just arrived and cast in managed to split my leg open thought of going to casualty all those miles away hmm tied my fortunately still clean towel round it and carried on fishing still got the scar to this day.
Rocks 2 i obviously havent learned my lesson or need to take up drinking was fishing at kilintingan lighthouse and slid on some razor like rocks i put my hands down to save myself only for the rock to slice right in to my left palm requiring a trip to casualty at stranraer couldnt drive so had to let a guy who was with me drive the car never bricked myself at someone elses driving but i did that day......
Match fishing. (1980s)
It was the annual region knockout competition and a 5 hour match had been arranged against another club i was a junior but mad keen on any fishing chat at the club meeting the results of the match were read out everyone from each team had caught fish bar one all really good weights of 14lb plus:fishing1: when asked what had happened to rab and why he blanked he muttered he left his rod in the house! fell off my seat laughing.
Boat match.
was fishing a boat match out at Hunterston behind the terminal and the pollack were being a little shy and small finally hooked one and thought yes a better one as i was winding it up was getting a real good scrap only for a seal to appear with my fish in its mouth grr gave the whole lot a yank with the rod as the seal bit through the fish to send the weight flying through the air landing on deck and fortunately for me missimg everybody but gave a few folk myself included a freight of where will it land made me seem as team captain a real plonker.
Fylde Phil
05-06-2008, 10:20
Long before I met her my ex wife ( as young teenage girl) was camping up in Scotland with her Mum and Dad (very keen sea anglers) and decided she fancied a go at fishing. They waded out about 50 meters on a shallow beach up to her knees and after instruction she let go a nice cast. Trouble is it went sideways and backwards somehow and bait and tackle landed 30 feet behind her to one side. As her Dad was explaining what she had done wrong and the finer points of casting etc.. she got an almighty knock and landed a coalfish of about 4lb.
Phil
Last Weekend!! as per my report....
Fishing a rock mark south east cornwall and was talking to the guy fishing next to me, when i suddenly saw a huge shape just beneath the surface of the water, had a big **** off tail and massive flattish body, looked mottled brown in colour, probably about 5 feet nose to tail. Wasn't moving much, looked half dead, what was it? maybe a sailfish,massive whatever it was. Said to the guy "what the chuffin hell is that?", "what?", "that, there look, can't miss it", "what are you on about?", "watch where I chuck the spinner". Cast it in (about 20 yards) and the spinner landed smack bang on top of it!
.... and the oil slick dispersed a bit!!! DOH!! In my defence the light was strange and I had been staring at the water for 5 hours!!!
billy bennett
05-06-2008, 19:23
when i started this thread back in april did not expect to see it again in june, but i must say reading through some of the posts it is very entertaining to say the least. well done all who have added their tales of woe and keep it up, its a cracking read ,especialy when i am trying to get away from corry, eastenders and emmerdale. so once again keep it up
beachy blue
05-06-2008, 19:34
forgot i hadnt put my waders on and waded out into the sea and when my legs got wet i looked down to realise i put my bib and brace on :icecream:
Rockhopperross
05-06-2008, 21:38
was about 10/11ish and was feathering off of a pier down in Cornwall, about 15 other anglers were also fishing off of the wall. i only had a little 6 foot spinning rod and i cast it with all my might only to catch a fully grown seagull in mid flight :clap: had to reel the thing in with loads of people looking at the raucus that the bird was making, reeled the bird up to untangle it, i proceeded to show its non amusment by giving me several painfull pecks :black_eye managed to untangle its self and flew off leaving me rather embarassed. lol dad could only laugh at me along with everyone else on the pier.
Was fishing off the Purbecks a few years ago when my mate caught a small conger of about 2lb... when he was getting the hook out he noticed that the conger had swallowed a small pollack or other small fish, so he decided to prise open its jaws to get a better look... unfortunately the conger clamped its jaw shut on his finger and spun round, resulting in a cut that looked like someone had used a stanley knife to slice his finger to the bone all round his finger, complete with a score mark right across his fingernail!!... Bleeding profusely, it was suggested pack up and get him to hospital to get it stitched up but he refused, so we bandaged it up with a clean(ish)rag and taped on a clear resealable plastic bag to keep the dirt out.
By the time we packed up fishing some 5 hours later, the bag had completely filled with blood and was sloshing around!... he still refused to go to hospital, as it certainly needed stitches, but it eventually stopped bleeding about 8 hours later!!... still has the scar now.
When asked why he was daft enough to stick his finger into the congers mouth, he replied 'I didn't think the small ones had teeth!'... lesson learned!
A couple of weeks later, the same guy was carrying my gaff in his rod holdall, but unfortunately the cork that I had stuck on the end for safety had fallen off on the trek out to the mark... He hadn't noticed this and proceeded the pull his rod butt out of the holdall and stuck the point of the gaff about half an inch or so into his hand!!... that bled a lot too!!!
30+ years ago now but fresh as a daisy in my mind, well maybee not that fresh but please read on.
10 of us were in a Wimpey, bright orange, minibus on our way back from Brid. Paul, the driver worked for Wimpey, transport cost us nothing and we never asked.
Ok we got there and the fog was down, pubs opened so we sought sollace there, skipper found us and said the fog lifted, did we want a 5 hour trip. How he knew where we were is a mystery.
Ok we went we fished we returned. Stopped for fuel and there was this young lady hitching so being 10 gentlemen, slightly, well OK mostly Pished we stopped and cleared a bench seat for her sole occupancy.
She wanted York for the Uni where she was a student. Perhaps 10 miles from York at 70mph Steve announced that he needed an immediate toilet stop for a number 2. Well not his exact words but you get the idea, Paul driving said bright orange minibus said he would stop at the next services.
This was not going to placate Steve obviously as he stated he wanted a S++t now, immediately, without further procrastination, he was touching cloth, turtle had it's head out the shell etc.
Paul in turn informed Steve to clench his Gluteus Maximus unil the next services, there was nothing he could do to help until we reached said services.
Next thing we saw was Steve sliding open the window adjacent to his seat which was initially refreshing due to the influx of fresh Yorkshire air into the bus, perhaps this freah air would slow the peristalsis. Our hopes were short lived however, next he dropped his trolleys much to the dismay of our hitchhiker seated directly behind him.
He stood and deftly positioned said gluteus maximus within the window orrifice and relaxed his sphyncter. The result was immediate and obvious to all and accompanied by a huge sigh of orgasmic relief from Steve, and much intestinal noise reflected into the bus.
The resultant liquid eructation left his bowel at considerable speed, however, it was nowhere near enough to overcome the slipstream of a Wimpey minibus travelling at the National speed limit.
Our young female guest seated directly behind Steve got the full benefit of the resultant vapours emitted from Steves colonic tract not to mention her window directly to her left becoming encrusted with the most foul corruption consisting of the digested remains of last night's beef madras and several pints of Samuel Holt's finest ale which were used to get it down and cool the oesophagus.
Paul immediately pulled onto the hard shoulder in accordance with the Road Traffic act, this being a serious emergency.None of us could breath and the nearside of the Wimpey Wagon was visibly corroding affecting the structural integrity of the vehicle.
As soon as the doors to our anerobic prison opened we fell out gasping for air onto the grass embankment, emitting cries of you f+++++g dirty b++++++rd and such like, the young lady beat us all out and was last seen legging it up the motorway embankment gagging and wretching never to be seen again.
I often wonder what became of her, did she pass,,,,,,out, did she become Sir Alans Apprentice, did she specialise as a proctologist, it will remain one of life's unanswered questions.
We tried 3 services on the way home but none of them would sell us a car wash token, in my humble opinion I think they all saw something of the Jackson Pollacks in our partially brown and orange custom Wimpey mini bus and had no wish to see it destroyed. the nearside windows were almost completely obscured and Paul himself gagged every time he had to make use of his nearside mirror.
Anyway Steve was from thence known as the '70mph sh1te'
was about 10/11ish and was feathering off of a pier down in Cornwall, about 15 other anglers were also fishing off of the wall. i only had a little 6 foot spinning rod and i cast it with all my might only to catch a fully grown seagull in mid flight :clap: had to reel the thing in with loads of people looking at the raucus that the bird was making, reeled the bird up to untangle it, i proceeded to show its non amusment by giving me several painfull pecks :black_eye managed to untangle its self and flew off leaving me rather embarassed. lol dad could only laugh at me along with everyone else on the pier.
I caught a goose once in a similar fashion. Cast out, waited for the splosh as a sign to flip the bale arm, but the cast kept on going. looked up and a goose had flown into my line and kept on going. engaged the bale arm, at which point the goose did its best Stuka impression and divebombed into Langstone harbour. I can confirm that geese dont really fight that well, although i was using quite heavy tackle. Eventually i managed to get it to the side of the jetty and with the help of a couple of other anglers handlined it up the wall and untangled it. Thankfully it flew off none the worse for its ordeal.
Best thing is, that particular session was our Club's annual Christmas 'fur and feather' lol
Just remembered, spinning and getting loads of takes but no hook ups,got peed off and decided to pack up! It was only when taking the spinner off the line that i noticed i hadnt taken the hook cover off the treble! LOL
Chicken George
06-06-2008, 17:36
before I go and fish mark that gets cut off on high tide for a good few hours, I get there just before it got cut off, quickly drop my gear, set up rod and cast out, I then proceed to move my gear a bit further back as tide still coming in, at this point I cut off, I then reel in to bait up again and not see bag of bait, I look around and see empty bag floating in sea. Somehow cant have moved bait bag back with rest of gear
I sit there for a few hours stranded with no bait :( not a good days fishing
About ten or twelve years or so ago, i was fishing a boat competition aboard Dawn Venture out of Langstone... on this particular day, TV cameras from Meridian were aboard our boat to record the event, and they were interviewing the very well known England International angler Ray Barron who was also aboard.
It was a bit of a breezy day and I was drawn on the windward side of the boat next to Ray... part way through the comp I was busting for a pee and rather go over the side into the wind (never a good idea!) an in view of the TV cameras present, I decided to go to the leeward side and climbed out alongside the cabin, holding on to the grab rail for support whilst I did my business... all of a sudden, just as I'd finished and was trying (with some difficulty) to do up the zipper on my salopettes with one hand whilst holding the grab rail with the other, frantic shouts from those watching my rod alerted me to the fact that it was almost being pulled over the side by a smoothound... the only thing stopping it from doing so was Ray's foot... in a panic I let go of the grab rail to finish pulling up the zipper and at that moment the boat pitched over in the choppy sea and threw me off balance... I made a frantic grab at the rail but as the boat pitched the other way, I missed completely and disappeared over the side!!
It took four grown men and the aid of a landing net to haul me back in to the boat... and you just don't realise how high up the sides are until your head is at water level!
Fortunately, sparing my embarrassment, the TV crew didn't catch it on camera... on the Meridian news report a few days later, I appeared initially wearing my black salopettes, then later wearing a red floatation suit that I borrowed off someone, as my own clothes were obviously very soggy!... Oh yes, and I never did catch that hound!!
TimmyButler
09-06-2008, 23:56
30+ years ago now but fresh as a daisy in my mind, well maybee not that fresh but please read on.
10 of us were in a Wimpey, bright orange, minibus on our way back from Brid. Paul, the driver worked for Wimpey, transport cost us nothing and we never asked.
Ok we got there and the fog was down, pubs opened so we sought sollace there, skipper found us and said the fog lifted, did we want a 5 hour trip. How he knew where we were is a mystery.
Ok we went we fished we returned. Stopped for fuel and there was this young lady hitching so being 10 gentlemen, slightly, well OK mostly Pished we stopped and cleared a bench seat for her sole occupancy.
She wanted York for the Uni where she was a student. Perhaps 10 miles from York at 70mph Steve announced that he needed an immediate toilet stop for a number 2. Well not his exact words but you get the idea, Paul driving said bright orange minibus said he would stop at the next services.
This was not going to placate Steve obviously as he stated he wanted a S++t now, immediately, without further procrastination, he was touching cloth, turtle had it's head out the shell etc.
Paul in turn informed Steve to clench his Gluteus Maximus unil the next services, there was nothing he could do to help until we reached said services.
Next thing we saw was Steve sliding open the window adjacent to his seat which was initially refreshing due to the influx of fresh Yorkshire air into the bus, perhaps this freah air would slow the peristalsis. Our hopes were short lived however, next he dropped his trolleys much to the dismay of our hitchhiker seated directly behind him.
He stood and deftly positioned said gluteus maximus within the window orrifice and relaxed his sphyncter. The result was immediate and obvious to all and accompanied by a huge sigh of orgasmic relief from Steve, and much intestinal noise reflected into the bus.
The resultant liquid eructation left his bowel at considerable speed, however, it was nowhere near enough to overcome the slipstream of a Wimpey minibus travelling at the National speed limit.
Our young female guest seated directly behind Steve got the full benefit of the resultant vapours emitted from Steves colonic tract not to mention her window directly to her left becoming encrusted with the most foul corruption consisting of the digested remains of last night's beef madras and several pints of Samuel Holt's finest ale which were used to get it down and cool the oesophagus.
Paul immediately pulled onto the hard shoulder in accordance with the Road Traffic act, this being a serious emergency.None of us could breath and the nearside of the Wimpey Wagon was visibly corroding affecting the structural integrity of the vehicle.
As soon as the doors to our anerobic prison opened we fell out gasping for air onto the grass embankment, emitting cries of you f+++++g dirty b++++++rd and such like, the young lady beat us all out and was last seen legging it up the motorway embankment gagging and wretching never to be seen again.
I often wonder what became of her, did she pass,,,,,,out, did she become Sir Alans Apprentice, did she specialise as a proctologist, it will remain one of life's unanswered questions.
We tried 3 services on the way home but none of them would sell us a car wash token, in my humble opinion I think they all saw something of the Jackson Pollacks in our partially brown and orange custom Wimpey mini bus and had no wish to see it destroyed. the nearside windows were almost completely obscured and Paul himself gagged every time he had to make use of his nearside mirror.
Anyway Steve was from thence known as the '70mph sh1te'
Bloody LOL!
scottishwolf
10-06-2008, 00:37
I just spat McEwans export all over the place :roll1:
And believe me, it takes some doing to make me spit good beer out lol.
upon getting into fishing again and the cast improving ~ we were fising a local harbour venue and i cast out into the harbour my mate next to me advise that he was sure my line, weight and hook sailed over a boat moured in the harbour some way out~ surley not i replied i could never cast that far!!
to my embarisment and supprise while reeling back in my mate advise me that the boat was moving back towards us against the tide!!
somehow i had got my line over the boat and was pulling it in towards us then all of a sudden a rumble of lead and clattering the line came free and was sailing back towards us
good job we were rolling around the floor laughing as the lead was airbourne!
the list of catastrophes from here is endless ~ oh such fun!
The daftest things i have seen fishing has to be mad stephen wood
the daftest thing i have seen when i'v been fishing has to be mrs twig
on the mumbles pier bringing me beer thanks again nikki
only joking nikki dai
not joking about the thanks
richgodfrey
16-06-2008, 17:01
the daftest yet most productive thing i seen is an old boy on millenium pier gosport using dead wasps to catch pouting for livebait!!
chrisp...had to stop reading half way through, tears in my eyes and my sides were killing me. i had a similar situation when my mate threatened to get out the passenger seat at 70mph unless i stopped right that minute to let him out for a No2. We only just managed to stop in time for him to jump out and drop his strides in full view of the passing public.
Another mate fell foul to the so called fresh mussels out in Achill. A couple of miles out in a little cabin boat and needing an urgent No2 he made a grab for the bucket and shot into the cabin. After a few very strange groaning noises, he came flying out the cabin door as the smell had made him feel sick.. belted his rather bald head on a screw on the cabin roof and cut it quite badly. he refused to cut the trip short and spent the rest of the day bleeding, puking and s****ing through the eye of a needle.
Raider
PeelerKing
22-06-2008, 13:43
The funniest thing ive seen, was some dude of the ground casting down chesil. Set himself up nice, then hit the cast. As the breakaway lead cam round it picked up a plastic back from his stuff. the bag opened up like a parachute, which resulted in the worst birds nest ever. It was that bad you couidn't even turn the spool in the cage.
I was wetting myself, i was laughing that hard.
I remember a couple of years ago on my local pier (the heugh), about 4 of us spinning of the end, me, my dad and two young lads. One of the young lads cast out, only to hear a big splash that was caused by the top half of his rod. was a nice day water was like glass we could see it in the water but it was slowly getting further away while we were trying to catch it for him with our spinners. must of had ten casts each when my dad came over and got it bang on through the end eye first chuck he reeled it in like it was nothing...he said skill and experience i say it was luck.
The young lad was over the moon
Dytiscus
24-06-2008, 20:30
haven't read through for a while just read 70mph poo and i now have the most horrific stitch in the world haven't laughed like that for a long while
I just remembered a boat trip I went on a few years ago when I was about 15.
It was a regional junior boat comp, there were 3 of us from our club fishing as a team on this one boat. The 2 other guys were newbies, so I was a bit concerned when one said to the other "have you had your medication today?".
Didnt think anything of it. Got stuck into the fishing. The medication guy started to get a bit seasick so he sat in the cabin. Next thing we know, he goes 'sod this, im swimming home' and goes to jump over the side. Problem was, we were close the isle of wight, whitecliff bay. how we was planning to swim home to Portsmouth god only knows. Luckily the skipper and crewman grabbed him before he made it over the gunnels and they locked him in the heads. looking back its funny but at the time it was pretty scary to watch.
Funnily enough he recovered and was fine later in the afternoon. I won and he came 3rd, so our team walked it :clap:
Many years ago when I was a young eager fisho I was at one of the local wharfs catching some bait fish.
Lots of fun was being had catching herrings and some mackerel then a few Kahawai ( Means strong in the water in Maori. Good sport fish runs hard and fast jumps etc around 2/3 kg ) showed up so it was time to break out the spinners.
However on the other side of the wharf another lad was doing much the same thing the problem was he was utilizing a novel casting style that could only be called twirling the lasso!!around and around until he deemed he had enough speed to propel the spinner far enough out.
As soon as I saw that happening My first thoughts were " WTF and thats not good"
Sure enough as I turned around to deal to with my rod which had just bent over with the line peeling off due to a nice kahawai hitting the bait
I felt a thump hit hit me in the shoulder followed by a stinging sensation! sure enough the wally on the other side had let the spinner go at the wrong time and nailed me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He then proceeded to wind in the slack line and give it a jerk Holy F@#k What the F@#k are you doing burst out of my mouth as he made sure the trebles were well and truly set !!!
One of my mates took care of my rod that still had a upset fish attached while I took care of the line that ME attached to it!
I grabbed a knife and quickly cut the line off the spinner and pulled my t shirt back to see how bad the damage was yep two hooks of the treble sunk into the top of my shoulder way past the barbs ...At this point the caster of said lure came over and said " give me back my f@#king spinner" this was not the thing to say .. I asked what the f did he want me to do as it was stuck in my shoulder ??? at that he laughed out loud and repeated give me back my spinner ..
Now at that stage I was in the school rugby team and at about 80kg of frt row prop not a little chap he made a fairly good splash as I picked the offensive prick up and threw him over the side of the wharf followed by all his crappy fishing gear save for the spinner still stuck in my shoulder which after we packed up our gear (while being watched by a wet and sulking dork) took a little ride with us to the local A&E for a tetanus shot and a dr to cut the hooks out followed by a few stitch's.
donoghue2779
27-06-2008, 14:00
Learned to fish in Wellington in NZ few years ago while down there for a year with my now missus who is from there. You really can get allsorts from the shore and i got into a lovely Kahawai (sea salmon) on heavy gear chasing big fish. Had it within 30m of the rocks. Suddenly line went slack then rod bowed over and started whizzing out. I thought fantastic it must be a Kingfish. Was desperate to get one and had read all the articles how to deal with one so flicked it out of gear and let it run. The line just flew out and at a guess I had given it the 150m it said in the book so I put the rod tip down, flicked it into gear with serious drag set and lifted it hoping that the hook was free enough to set. The rod bowed over and nearly pulled me in. There was a couple of seconds when i couldn't work out what to do and then a twang. I fell back on my arse, picked up the can of beer i had on the go and sat there shouting to the bloke 20m along that if that was a Kingfish then I didn't actually want one thank you very much.
Then i saw a small wave moving in. Eventually when it was about 15m from me the seal surfaced and just stayed there mocking me as it ate my Kahawai. I resisted all temptations to lob the can at it.
CaptainRhys
27-06-2008, 15:24
Many years ago when I was a young eager fisho I was at one of the local wharfs catching some bait fish.
Lots of fun was being had catching herrings and some mackerel then a few Kahawai ( Means strong in the water in Maori. Good sport fish runs hard and fast jumps etc around 2/3 kg ) showed up so it was time to break out the spinners.
However on the other side of the wharf another lad was doing much the same thing the problem was he was utilizing a novel casting style that could only be called twirling the lasso!!around and around until he deemed he had enough speed to propel the spinner far enough out.
As soon as I saw that happening My first thoughts were " WTF and thats not good"
Sure enough as I turned around to deal to with my rod which had just bent over with the line peeling off due to a nice kahawai hitting the bait
I felt a thump hit hit me in the shoulder followed by a stinging sensation! sure enough the wally on the other side had let the spinner go at the wrong time and nailed me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He then proceeded to wind in the slack line and give it a jerk Holy F@#k What the F@#k are you doing burst out of my mouth as he made sure the trebles were well and truly set !!!
One of my mates took care of my rod that still had a upset fish attached while I took care of the line that ME attached to it!
I grabbed a knife and quickly cut the line off the spinner and pulled my t shirt back to see how bad the damage was yep two hooks of the treble sunk into the top of my shoulder way past the barbs ...At this point the caster of said lure came over and said " give me back my f@#king spinner" this was not the thing to say .. I asked what the f did he want me to do as it was stuck in my shoulder ??? at that he laughed out loud and repeated give me back my spinner ..
Now at that stage I was in the school rugby team and at about 80kg of frt row prop not a little chap he made a fairly good splash as I picked the offensive prick up and threw him over the side of the wharf followed by all his crappy fishing gear save for the spinner still stuck in my shoulder which after we packed up our gear (while being watched by a wet and sulking dork) took a little ride with us to the local A&E for a tetanus shot and a dr to cut the hooks out followed by a few stitch's.
That made me laugh :laugh:
Feel Of A Pier Right Into The Water
:fish::roll1:
sallysludgebucket
29-06-2008, 19:30
Always one to experiment while fishing, I ooze stupidity 99% of the time, just occasionally discovering a really great new technique, item or bait etc etc. Only last week i tried very successfully using a stone in a length of old tight as a free weight while fishing close in over graveyard ground. Well not contented with my success I decided I could build on it, and after ages collectng crab, mussels, winkles etc shelling and mixing them with squid liquer, rank macky, black lug and liquid blueys then combining with crushed halibut pellets I proudly cast out.
Result ? every dogfish in North Wales feasting on the stocking covered stone and the hook baits untouched !
Daft cow ! LOL
Woolworths used to sell candy teeth loose, I always carried a few with me. WHen a fishing buddy had to answer the call of nature I would quickly reel his rod in, add the teeth and oh mention that he had a hell of a knock. This was guarented to trigger a hell of a strike only to find a set of teeth dangling where the lunker should be with me quipping;
"Well you struck that hard you pulled its ruddy teeth out !" LOL
dave hallett
29-06-2008, 20:12
Whilst fishing out of Scarborough some years ago in one of the open Yorkshire Cobles the skipper opened a plastic bag full of mussels,don't know how fresh they were but the smell was a bit ripe.
Anyway one of the party was feeling a bit iffy and when he saw the bag,which looked very much like a butchers offal bucket,and smelt like it too and calmly announced that he wanted to be sick
But being a novice didn't realise that you just hung your head over the side and called out for HUEY !!!! so he asked for some newspaper when he finished he asked the skipper what he should do with it and in no uncertain terms he said that he didn't want it on his boat and that he should throw it over the side.But instead of just dropping it gently over the gunnels he decided to perform an overarm that any cricketer would be proud of,right into a stiff breeze,and guess what ( if you already havn't ) before he could regain his pride it hit him right in the face,NOT a pretty sight Ican tell you
murky depths
29-06-2008, 20:32
take nick snow out fishing with me:spiteful:and nearly burnt me tub
read....
http://www.worldseafishing.com/forums/showthread.php?t=103535
congerball
02-07-2008, 14:40
Me and my brother used to have this thing when where ever possible we would try to get one over on each other (like most brothers)....so during this particular holiday the hedges / bushes on the verges hadn't been trimmed yet so whenever there was a thick bush of nettles or whatever sticking out I would drive as close as I could so they world flick though his window (very silly but hilarious when young) Anyway my brother and I had just finished fishing the flood tide and were moving to a different mark, thinking about saving time we left the beach casters tackled up and slid both of the rods through the sun roof leaving about 5ft sticking out, they were sitting nice and straight so off we went…so I’m driving to the next mark and I see this huge bush sticking out on the left, my brothers got the window down, arm hanging out….perfect.
Unfortunately in my excitement I had failed to realise that both rods had slipped to the left…..as the bush hit the wing mirror my brother predictably sh*t himself but my amusement was short lived…..what at first sounded like a shotgun fired from inside the car was in fact both rods snapping simultaneously, both rods had entered the bush at approx 30mph lifting upwards and snapping near the spigot……expensive lesson.
barbelblanker
03-07-2008, 23:22
1. While living in Swansea I was in the habit of fishing after the pubs threw out and I'd been in there. One night I was staring up at the top o the rod for at least five minutes before I realised that the rod appeared to be bent back. I'd let go of the weight on the back swing and even though I tightened it up didn't realise I was fisihng behind me (I was pretty piddled though, yes I know it was unsafe but I was younger and stupider).
2. Walking up a bank at Warren Mill pointed out a tree root half way up to a mate while I went to answer the call of nature. On the way down I reemphasised the point by sticking my foot on the root and performing a perfect front dive (without pike) into the margins.
3. Anyone who doe not look UP on strange sections of canal for pylons and wires, that is dumb as heck.
Sleep1981
04-07-2008, 12:58
I have it on very good authority (from the guys wife) that a non-fishing friend of mine was invited out on a work fishing trip out on a charter. He returned home that evening to his wife with a gutted rainbow trout. His wife is not dim, and pointed out that they are a freshwater species. He was forced to concede he had blanked, and was worried she would think he was useless, so had picked it up from a supermarket on the way home. Incredible.
Swifty49
05-07-2008, 11:00
Was fishing a local surf beach for bass last week, without any success for the first 2 hours. Suddenly the rod tip slammed over and started dancing in the tripod. With much glee I struck it and felt the weight as I was reeling in. The bass turned out to be a snottie of about a pound and a half. Disappointment all round.
Then I decided to be clever and not let the snottie muck up my rig, by putting the rod in the tripod and letting it dangle while I unhooked it. Unfortunately I didn't notice that while I was unhooking the eel from the bottom hook, the top hook caught in the collar of my waterproof jacket and as I set off down the beach to chuck it back, the whole kit and kaboodle came crashing down, covering everything, including my nice, shiny, new 7HT Mag in wet, sticky sand.
The offending snottie in unhooking pose!
http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y137/Swifty49/snottie.jpg
daddysailor
06-07-2008, 22:55
Nipped for a pee while fishing eyemouth harbour....totaly open to the elements........got my son to stand next to me to block view from the beach/shore side and act as lookout .....was one of those its started and wont finish pees...looked up and theres a couple walking over the cliff tops next to the harbour wall....well that def put an end to the pee...spent rest of day expecting the polis to show up and take me away for indecent exposure...........glad we wern't robbing a bank..some lookout. :wiggle:
10tunnecod
07-07-2008, 13:10
i was fishing off the local peir and got a bite so i went and hooked it .only realising i had only put the top part of my rod half way down the other bit and my rod split in half so as im reeling this fish 1 half of my rod is in the water .them the other half of it appeared from the depths with a pathetic flounder as my catch .
I was out on boat and my sister decided to come along, she hates even the sight of rag worm soooooooooooo for a laugh i took the filling out of a sandwich and replaced it with ... yes ragworms.
I asked if she wanted a sandwich and she said yes but sussed me at the last second cos i turned around and she seen my shoulders vibrating from p^^sing myself laughing so much.
she hasnt been back out since - no sense of humour
i remember years ago being invited on a night fishing trip with two local
chaps to a rock mark.they carried the gear and i carried the bait.after fallin behind in the mad scramble to their favoured spot i noticed all the frozen black lug had fallen out of the thermos flask that had a cork as a cap and into the bottom of the bag.in a panic i emptied the lug back into the flask and pushed in the cork.two hours later i was chattin to one of the fellas and asked him has he always used a thermos for black lug.he replied:no ya silly sod thats johns hot pot,i turned around in horror and there he was holding an empty mug,sayin.........god i needed that.:shutup:
Sandalar
11-07-2008, 12:45
I was fishing off Amlwch breakwater and started to reel in to reposition my bait when I got a bite.
I struck into it and the fish started to move bumping quite a bit to one side so I let the rod down and hauled a bit to get it off the bottom.
Well the rod bent practically double and the fish showed little sign of coming with it. I could tell it was still moving but not how much so it felt like a really big flatty (perhaps a big turbot) and I was getting really excited.
I reeled in a bit more and had to do the reel in pull the rod up then reel in as I let the rod down job because it was so heavy.
Then the line started moving across the front of the breakwater towards the shore and I realised with the weight it was I was not going to get it up out of the water so climbed up on the wall and walked along slowly reeling in then pulling in my very stubborn and incredibly heavy fish.
I finally (after nearly half an hour) get the rod myself and the fish to the shore lift it one last time to beach it and hear a clunk.(well thats not right)
I look over the side of the breakwater to see a rock.
Somehow I had hooked an anemone on a free rock and the way it reeled in I swear felt like a big flattie.
Instead my largest sea catch to date was a 12lb rock.
It put up a good fight :crazy:
was out fishing wit friends and we had been catching mackies and pollack all day i decided to throw in a dead line wit a mackie head on it..
after about 30min i thought i would check if anything on it ...the line was tight but i thought i just had caught the kelp as i kept pulling it up the line stopped moving so i climbed down closer and started to pull harder as it freed i shouted up to my friends that i got it as i climbed back up they where pulling it when one of them shouted , before i knew what a conger was slapping around my head i panicked and jumped out of the way hence i jumped wrong way after shock of freezing water and a conger splashing near me i also realised my mates ****ing them selfs laughing ...still gets mentioned everytime we meet
went pike fishing and forgot my bait. the only shop near the place only sold sardines in tomatoe sauce. yep baught it and tried it. and nope no fish as they were laughing to much.
simplybob
13-07-2008, 22:18
worst ive seen is my mate practising pendulem casting got it completely wrong,
caught my other mates thumb with hook a 3.0 ,
had bedded itself right under his thumb nail, to make matters worse, he fainted and really put the...s...ts up us,
straight to the local hospital
had to put him out , the big sissy.........
one we still talk about now, and he has the scars to prove it
makes me cringe
just thinking about that day
never new what happened to the 3.0 hook
you think they would of let him keep it.
bob
Ian Houlton
14-07-2008, 08:18
went pike fishing and forgot my bait. the only shop near the place only sold sardines in tomatoe sauce. yep baught it and tried it. and nope no fish as they were laughing to much.
unbelievable! I remember fishing for Pike on a lake in Lincoln and the bloke I was with was told to go to the indoor market for some sprats, he came back with a tin of sardines! I thought it was a one off until i read that
Remember years ago driving dow the coast to go fishing, 60 mile drive, got all the way there and the bait was left at home. So it was drive all the way back home then fish in the river :(
And nothing wrong with a tin of sardines, 16lb bass caught out of the thames was on tinned sardines. ;)
I fished a night tide at Thorpe Bay, Essex in January, it was about -8C. Fished for about 4 hours and the bait kept coming back untouched. I didnt realise the sea had frozen over and I was casting onto sheet ice!!!! Eventually found a hole in the ice ...cast out ....reeled in...and i had hooked a flounder that was now dead and frozen solid!!!!!
It was freezing so went home about 4 am. My wife gf had to undress me, peeling off about 10 layers of clothes cos my hands would not work!!!!
Got up the next day and some little sh*t had broken into my motor and nicked all my fishing gear...Zzippys etc!!!!
What dont kill ya makes you stronger said my gf next day. Grrrrrrrrr!!!!
Another tale from the other side of the world.
Mid spring down here in NZ and out at a south coast beach now this area is a 30 odd km from anyplace and requires crossing one smallish stream that you have to drive though and about 800mtrs of hard pack sand to drive over to get near the water.
The beach itself is fairly non descript very long with a steep drop off and a very decent current running along it and if you get in trouble you in big trouble!!!!!
Myself and one other mate were fishing and doing ok getting a few decent fish and a few rubbish fish along the way as well as a number of bite offs ( lots of biggish sharks in that area )
After a few hrs there I spotted two young ladies walking down to the surf break and thought where the hell did they come from? they looked about for a bit waved at us and headed back in the direction of the sand dunes and then came back in their two wheel drive car!
They had done well to get that onto the beach!! they then proceeded to get a fire going and set up a campsite ..Ok thats pretty cool we thought the next thing I knew they were walking down to the waves in their bikinis to go for a swim!!!!!!! it was late now and getting dark on a remote beach that has a bad reputation for people getting into trouble
I was in the midst of re baiting and decided to go and have a chat to them to see if they knew about the danger of this beach...
They were just messing about in the small waves at the edge but even that was enough to knock one off her feet and turn over her a few times ... they manged to get back up and out to where I was standing and replied that they were traveling around the country and had not been to the beach at all .I was having a bit of trouble talking to them about the beach as the one who had been knocked over by the waves had had her top rearranged by the waves:happy:
After I managed to fill them in on the danger of the beach they decided to quit the swimming as it was rather obviously cold as well..:happy:
I wandered back to where my buddy was on the beach a filed him in on the sights I had just seen he was mightily upset until we both turned around to see them get rid of the bikinis and dry themselves off by the fire!!!!!!!!!!
Cromcruaich
15-07-2008, 09:57
Another tale from the other side of the world.
...
Sounds like a very similiar experience I had down at Perch Rock on the River Mersey... oh wait, that was a dream.
codfatherofthewest
18-07-2008, 15:31
Arived for a 4hour night sesh, in February. Had been given a gas powered lamp from my dad. I was Just about losing light when i had set up, so i flicked on my gas powered lamp. didn't turn on, so i did it a couple more times and bang, the whole thing lit up, flame coming out of the side of it it and everything. Stood there with this gas canister pretty much on fire in my hand, so what to do? stand there like a lemon for about 1-2 seconds trying to blow the fking thing out, which didn't work. realised what the hell am i doing, it's going to blow up in my face, so chucked it about 10metres in front of me and ran in the other direction. hit the beach floor and bang. all the lantern split into a shed load of pieces. not quite sure what happened there, dont think the cannister even blew, but **** me right up for a few minutes none the less.
not going to invest in anoter lamp like that!
this has got to be the best one yet
TomBettle
18-07-2008, 17:58
Seen someone buy a Quicksilver once.
They said it was for fishing so I guess it counts.
Dafting thing I've ever seen anyone do is spend there money on one of them.....
Gene Hunt
19-07-2008, 01:05
Years ago fishing at Lowestoft. Boarded the boat via a sturdy pontoon. However I lost my footing and headbutted the harbour wall sending claret everywhere. Got onto the boat whereby I gor a teatowel and covering it over with a plastic bag used electrical tape to hold the lot and my bonce together. Fished all day and had a fair few fish. On the way home my head was throbbing so bad, as I was driving, reaaranged the seating and went alone to the loacl hospital. After 2 hours I left with a much neater plaster and 18 stitches.:busted_co
gulp me drug
19-07-2008, 01:17
Years ago fishing at Lowestoft. Boarded the boat via a sturdy pontoon. However I lost my footing and headbutted the harbour wall sending claret everywhere. Got onto the boat whereby I gor a teatowel and covering it over with a plastic bag used electrical tape to hold the lot and my bonce together. Fished all day and had a fair few fish. On the way home my head was throbbing so bad, as I was driving, reaaranged the seating and went alone to the loacl hospital. After 2 hours I left with a much neater plaster and 18 stitches.:busted_co
a man with his prorities in order. well done sir.
i fished near a fella once who forgot his bait elastic so he started picking the thread out his socks
gulp me drug
19-07-2008, 04:01
i fished near a fella once who forgot his bait elastic so he started picking the thread out his socks
no missus with him wearing knickers?
forgot me trousers......lol
went out for a few hours last night an as always checked everything being loaded into the car,but still i managed to forget something,but my trousers of all things and to make matters worse me boots were under my trousers.
i wasnt going to let that deter me tho and i went on to have wet feet after walking in after a fish,a sore leg after a spirited smoothy decided it didnt want to stay still,a few fish and a new pb of 13lb 4oz so in all it made it worth looking silly standing on the beach in shorts and trainers in the rain for a few hours.
codfatherofthewest
20-07-2008, 08:13
****in hilarious am still rolling around floor an hr after reading it !
A few years ago a couple of mates (who normally only shore fish) decided that they really fancied fishing around Portland breakwater at night for conger but couldn't access the mark from the shore... so they borrowed a small dinghy, rowed out and started fishing (with their 12ft beach rods I might add!)... they'd not been there long when one of them decides to reel in to change his bait... a fresh mackerel flapper is duly mounted on to a pennel rig, and in the darkness he casts it back out, looking at where he wanted his bait to land rather than where it was actually going... unfortunately it 'snagged' up on the cast and a sharp tug resulted in a few muffled grunts coming from the other end of the dinghy... he looks round to see his mate with the mackerel flapper firmly attached to his nose via an 8/0 o'shaunessy with the hook point actually up his nostril!!!
The hook wouldn't come out so they had to pack up, row back and pay a visit to Dorchester A&E to get it removed!
stewart read
09-10-2008, 15:19
walking out on mud with out taking there time and sinking past there knees or deeper:bangin:
livin2fish
09-10-2008, 15:31
fishing off lymburn pipe when my mate droped his lighter in the water so he jumped in after it but he had left his tabs and mobile in his pocket he got his lighter back but had no tabs to smoke lol :bangin:
and another when at blyth harbour my mate was whirling a handline round by his sideand releised it i looked for it hitting the water in sted herd ma mate yelling "get it out" i turnd round to see it stuck in his calf mussel i could do nothing for laughter :roll1:
Ravelling Tangler
09-10-2008, 18:33
I heard of a daft mishap years ago on one of the Aberystwyth boats.
Someone was bringing in a good Thornback on the port side and kept "striking" with the rod despite being advised not to. He got it to the surface, "struck" and this time the hook popped out, the fish swam away while the sinker flew up and back through the air, coming down on the head of someone fishing on the starboard side.... apparently the blood was everywhere!
Cheers - John
I saw almost exactly the same thing where and old fella (we were boat fishing off Cleveon, Bristol Channel) just couldn't help pumping like he was triking on every stroke. as the (20 lb !) Cod neared the boat - sure enought the hook flew out and embedded it self in his mates neck (Ulp!) Luckily it didn't go in past the barb and did not hit anywhere vital.
On the same trip we suggested to a young-ish lad that he doesn't swing codling of 3-4 lb in , but waits for the net , as they are lightly hooked. Next one he brings up he waits for the net ..... with the cod dangling 2 feet above the water, about 3 feet behind the transom.
Luckily, it did not fall off and when we got our breath back (from the laughing) we managed to explain to him that we meant wait with the fish in the water, for the net.
Somehow the sight of the skipper sliding the net , in mid-air , underneath a dangling codling had us all in stitches.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
that bit about someone jumping in to rescue something reminds me : Ted Cooke told us he had an angler whose glasses fell off and he jumped over (from Anglo Dawn 2, at anchor) to try to get them. If the tide had been running he could have been lost. As it was, he did not get them back, but lost his wallet in the Sea and got a soaking as well.
I think Ted never, ever, therafter, assumed that any anglers were sensible.
I remember that when it skippers had to give safety talk before setting off he usually stressed " do NOT abandon ship - whatever is happening - unless I say so ". I suspect he had nightmares of up to ten fools all jumping off a boat that wasn't actually sinking (or burning to the waterline) - some with lifejackets and some without.
i fished near a fella once who forgot his bait elastic so he started picking the thread out his socks
The bloke i was fishing with (ex forces tough guy ) got taken short with no paper about and asked to borrow my filleting knife ...what the ????????.................
then proceeded to cut the tops off his socks while he was still wearing them.
was fishing with me nephew he was snagged and straightend his 4/0 hook so he decided to try straighten it by using his teeth like pliers,the point of the hook slipped and went right behind his tooth right past the barb,he was snood there asking for help with the rig,lead the lot hanging from his mouth,i ended up pulling it out,first attempt i must have hit his tooth or somet cos it didnt come out second time i tried i mayed sure nowt would get in the way :roll1:
seafish40
09-10-2008, 19:59
A few years ago whilst fishing witha few mates at Penarth in the Xmas break
We noticed a few anglers about 100 yards from us. One of them bragging
about his new rod that Santa had brought him. As we were all pendulum
casting he thought he'd have a go. But instead of casting properly he
swung round his head 2 or 3 times like a helicopter. So impressed was he
by the extra distanse he had another go , result a 3 piece rod. Just
wondered if Santa does returns
was fishing with me nephew he was snagged and straightend his 4/0 hook so he decided to try straighten it by using his teeth like pliers,the point of the hook slipped and went right behind his tooth right past the barb,he was snood there asking for help with the rig,lead the lot hanging from his mouth,i ended up pulling it out,first attempt i must have hit his tooth or somet cos it didnt come out second time i tried i mayed sure nowt would get in the way :roll1:
intentional pun, or typo? :lmao:
A few years ago whilst fishing witha few mates at Penarth in the Xmas break
We noticed a few anglers about 100 yards from us. One of them bragging
about his new rod that Santa had brought him. As we were all pendulum
casting he thought he'd have a go. But instead of casting properly he
swung round his head 2 or 3 times like a helicopter. So impressed was he
by the extra distanse he had another go , result a 3 piece rod. Just
wondered if Santa does returns
Sounds like Rich Pickings casting Kev, strangest cast I've ever seen.....effective though :thumbs:
was fishing with me nephew he was snagged and straightend his 4/0 hook so he decided to try straighten it by using his teeth like pliers,the point of the hook slipped and went right behind his tooth right past the barb,he was snood there asking for help with the rig,lead the lot hanging from his mouth,i ended up pulling it out,first attempt i must have hit his tooth or somet cos it didnt come out second time i tried i mayed sure nowt would get in the way :roll1:
Made me cringe , did you tell him to think like a fish not act like one ?
Saw a bloke hook himself in the tongue with a freshwater size 18 while trying to bite the nylon off , couldn`t help for laughing but i did lend him my disgorger.
Rattyhorses
09-10-2008, 22:42
we always went fishing around Thurso, Wick and scrabster when we went on holidays and one particular year dad had brought us all rods so we didnt get left out (had nothing to do with the fact he didnt want to lend us his old faithful and expensive as it was then rod).
So we get there about 3 hours before high tide at scrabster and the harbour is quite shallow still when my brother who was 6 at the time shouts he has caught something, of course after so many false calls my mum and dad say "yeah of course you have". so as his rod is bending nearly in double he is still shouting that he has caught something and bit by bit he heads towards the side of the harbour.
After a while my dad turns round to talk to my brother and by this time he has dissappeared, my dad looks over the harbour and sees him in the water still clutching his rod with the fish on. A man in a boat came to his rescue then lands the fish for him. Quite a respectable flounder as well.
When he gets back to dad he is crying his eyes out and pipes up "see i told you i got something" good job for life jackets thats all i cna say.
and :roll1: at some of the other stories
intentional pun, or typo? :lmao:
typo:roll1:
Excellent
I've done some whoppers over the years.
Launching my mates sheltie at new brighton on a january morning and got caught short. I had been on the beer the night before and ate some kebabs. Decided to take a dump behind one of the breakwaters. did the business on the beach, wiped with a hankie and threw it on top of the offending turd "great" i thought pulling up my strides got away with it, still dark etc. As i walk off ,a dogwalker comes round the corner. 10 yards on i her a comotion, i turn around to see her, retching, trying to get the hankie and turd off her wellies. The smell was horrendous.
Putt up my beach buddy and forgot to peg it down wind got up, gear blew all over beach:sad:
Pulling my trolley to a peg at Bromborough on the mersey and the wheels kept getting stuck in rutts. Got fed up with it and pulled like mad . didnt notice the tip of my century rod caught in the nearby bush. Just heard the snap:mellow:
One of the members of my club was fishing an open on the ribble estury. Its like a marsh criss-crossed with small but deep creeks. While getting fish signed in he fell in one upto his chest ... TWICE
Saw a guy using putty for bait fishing for mullet . He said they were attracted to the linseed oil in it?
GREAT DAYS, Good to look back at all the laughs:fishing:
Casting from a tight spot one day and put a 5oz lead through each side of my new beach buddy. Lead flew through it like an exocet missle. Has some nice patches now...
Moved a bit away for my next cast and snaped the tip off on a groin - Some days its better to stay in bed ! LOL
Wrass762
11-10-2008, 22:12
set fire to my arms
setting fire to my car
throwing my biggest golden away by accident
driving for 40 min,walking for an hour and finding out i hadnt packed my reels
and loads more
pasty steve
12-10-2008, 06:48
Excellent
I've done some whoppers over the years.
Launching my mates sheltie at new brighton on a january morning and got caught short. I had been on the beer the night before and ate some kebabs. Decided to take a dump behind one of the breakwaters. did the business on the beach, wiped with a hankie and threw it on top of the offending turd "great" i thought pulling up my strides got away with it, still dark etc. As i walk off ,a dogwalker comes round the corner. 10 yards on i her a comotion, i turn around to see her, retching, trying to get the hankie and turd off her wellies. The smell was horrendous.
Putt up my beach buddy and forgot to peg it down wind got up, gear blew all over beach:sad:
Pulling my trolley to a peg at Bromborough on the mersey and the wheels kept getting stuck in rutts. Got fed up with it and pulled like mad . didnt notice the tip of my century rod caught in the nearby bush. Just heard the snap:mellow:
One of the members of my club was fishing an open on the ribble estury. Its like a marsh criss-crossed with small but deep creeks. While getting fish signed in he fell in one upto his chest ... TWICE
Saw a guy using putty for bait fishing for mullet . He said they were attracted to the linseed oil in it?
GREAT DAYS, Good to look back at all the laughs:fishing:
Cant say ive tried it.... whylst fishing southsea beach last year my mate brought in someone elses lost rig, It was a fixed patnoster with the snood about 5'' long and the rig body about 5 foot long, just above the weight there was a huge flounder spoon......... With a whole unpeeled crab whipped on to it!!! I found that pretty amusing.
IanB1303
12-10-2008, 15:04
The daftest thing Ive ever done was on a trip to Arnside, Cumbria. We had mis-read the tide time. I walked under the railway bridge, back 40yards to a little footbridge over a deep gulley and walked out 60-70 yards over the sands and started to set up. I had carried most of my mates tackle as he had returned to the car for something he forgot. I was then awakened from my daydream by my mate screaming at me to move. I noticed through the bridge the tidal bore coming directly towards me at what seemed wharp factor 9. The words "Oh dear, I'm in trouble here" (or something similar) sprang to mind. I just grabbed all the stuff, 2 rods with reels, two baskets full of tackle and food, rodrest, amd me in full winter gear with wellies and started to run. I could see the gulley between me and safety filling up at an alarming rate. Adrenaline and fear are a wonderfull thing, I got back to the foot bridge, got accross it and ran straight up the railway siding. I turned round and the footbrige was gone under the incoming tide. NEVER AGAIN have I misread tide times
VERY FRIGHTENING
Also at Arnside on the stone jetty just as I was about to lanch my bait my dog grabbed it resulting in a size 2 hook going through my dogs lip. Had to cut the eye off the hook and feed it through the dogs lip
pilchard face
12-10-2008, 15:41
I was fishing off brighton beach,behind the king alfred,nice day etc.Had a couple of small fish and was thinking of going home when wallop..rod goes bending over.This really excites me,i think i've hooked a whopper.So i am looking around behind me and see a few people gathering to watch.
Excellent,how cool am i?I am gonna land a big fish in front of an audience.I can feel something heavy and moving about and soon my moment of glory!....not so.
I look down onto the surf only to realise that every time i pull on my rod the big seagull attached to my line goes under and panics as it begins to drown.
I feel stupid and embarrassed,put my rod down on the shingle and wade in up to my knees to rescue it. Don't get me wrong i don't like seagulls but i don't want to drown one,especially in front of half a dozen people.
I get my snips out and cut it free,stick the poor thing in my coat and walk it up the beach,feeling like a real nob and hoping it was ok.
I realised quite quickly it was ok when,in front of my little audience it pecked my thub and hand savagely and flew off.
Drama over and my bemused fellow brightonians walking away shaking thier heads i retrieve my rod/reel and sit down for a cuppa from my flask.
Once suitably recovered i get my tackle sorted and cast back out.Nothing happened,no fish(or birds)about.That's it i think,i'm off home.
On reeling in my rig feels heavy and nothing like a seagull.Now i get quietly confident i have a fish but remain calm and inconspicuous,only to find i have caught my shockleader, tackle and a shed load of weed from my last cast..
Not my finest hour,infact i was really annoyed.didn't realise how funny the whole scene was until i told my missus..
bens1247
12-10-2008, 20:29
Brillainat thread everyone!!!
When i was about 14 my mate and I walked out onto the mudflats alongside Southend Pier as about 1/2 mile out there are ladders you can climb up meaning you dont have to pay! Anyway the tide was coming in really fast and not being able to make the ladder or beat the speed of the incoming tide we got in a small rowing boat. Only thing was though we didn't have more than 20 lugworms between us and would be on the boat for about 8 hrs before it had ebbed enough for us to get out.
after using the 20 lug in a bout an 1hr or 2 we were resigned to waiting...it was a blistfully hot day and there were loads of holiday makers on the pier, my mate had 'luckily' been given 3 strokes of the cain a couple fo days previuosly and still had the bruise to prove it! He started mooning the holiday makers and at soem stages there were p[eople cheering and even throwing pennies in. The longest 7hrs of my life but the good memories of the mooning will last with me for ever!!
Cerberus73
17-10-2008, 22:50
about 15yrs back, me and my then stepfather were pike fishing up at loch skene, i hooked a great pike of about 20+ lbs, played it into shore, and told him to get the forceps to get the plug out as i hadnt had time to get the landing net ready, he being the muppet he was... goes no no its just at the front there ill get it out... i was about to tell the eejit that pike can give a nasty bite (he was a total fishing greenhorn) when it clamped itself around his fingers, leaving a lovely mess of red and much squeeling like a stuck pig... suffice to say local a&e and a tetanus jab later he was pretty miffed to say the least...
same guy again... went worming for brown trout up the local river, at this huge deep pool, i contacts with a eel, so pulls it in, and stashes it in me jacket, he was behind some bushes and didnt see me catch the eel, i walks off muttering i needed a pee, he is petrified of snakes btw... (can you see where this is going..) i walks off and go hey... look what i found, bending down n slipping the eel out my jacket, i chucks it towards him and goes look an adder and he... freaks out and leaps straight into the pool, up over his head! had to go haul him out, was creased up wetting meself laughing, it was funniest thing id ever seen, id have made a mint on you been framed if i had a video camera with me,
same guy yet again, was spinning this one spot for about 2 hrs, seatrout jumpin all around, i told him to be a bit more mobile etc, he mutters something about how no sod could catch these effin trout, and i goes look, one cast into the area he was fishing for hrs... wallop, a great take on a small herri lure... 5lb trout... lovely. he was pure gutted i can tell you pmsl.
gonefishin
18-10-2008, 14:19
I think my powercast down the knap yesterday took some beating for being daft. I started sea fishing again last October after a 7 years or so lay off.I'd had a dabble at pendulum in the old days and wasn't particularly good at it but sometimes got 1 or 2 off ok. I was determined to have a go last night.
I moved down the pebbles forward of my lad and the bloke on my left and set up for it. I set up my angles, swung it out, let it back and then launched into it ! My mag elite made a brief horrible noise which was followed by that awful crack off noise - and out to sea at a great rate of knots went my weight, rig and length of bright orange 70lb shock leader ! What a plonker ! I was concentrating so much on the technique I hadn't put the reel into free spool OOPS! :doh:
Next time back the clutch off before you cast.
Saves a lot of probs and money.
Great threrad btw
Was spin fishing from a beach on the Roseland that had a fair few day sailing boats moored with the ocupants enjoying a day on the sunny beach. A BIG ole cast with my deter wedge and the angle misjudged the lure flew directly over a rather plush motor launch moored in front of me. Panicking slightly I acted quickly and dropping the rod dived in and swam out to the launch. On arrival I discovered that the lure had not quite made it over the launch, instead had dropped right in it. At this point I noticed a large man shouting at me from the beach. Panicking even more I attempted to haul myself over the side of the launch to retrieve my lure hopeing that it had not ripped the white leather upholstry or scratched the cherrywood dash. After about the fith attempt I flopped onto the deck with the grace of a speared seal, the entire beach now watching, and scrambled around finding the lure hooked on a bit of rope (thank the lord!). I quickly dive in lure between my teeth and swam back to the beach to await my girlfriend who had teers of laughter running down her face. it turned out the man was shouting for me to drop the little ladder to help me climb in. I shamefully packed up my rod and being too embarresed to walk along the beach stated that we would head up the steep cliff path. The missus had a panic attack half way up and it took 20 minutes and a lot of noise and snot to coax her all the way up to the top.
gulp me drug
19-10-2008, 13:21
Last night, I decided to use an ancient griplead. The loop was bent and rusty, so I straightened it with pliers. As I did so, I thought "This will probably weaken it". Being a prat I fished on. Last cast (OTG) the loop came off at the start of the cast, leaving the sinker on the ground. So I did a 5oz cast with no resistance. Surprising:
1) How dramatic the result was.
2) How much my back hurts.
3) That nobody noticed!
beachy blue
19-10-2008, 13:44
:roll1: did you catch out dave:roll1:
gulp me drug
19-10-2008, 13:56
:roll1: did you catch out dave:roll1:
Sweet FA, Leigh......and can barely walk today. Bobbing up and down in Mass this morning didn't help. Currently treating the back with Valpolicella.
bassangler08
19-10-2008, 14:08
a thew weeks ago two men were fishing. both float fishing one already had his spot then a man had come over put it next to the man float that was already in the water and both had to cut the line and lose all the float tackle.one of the men waz furious
species:pouting dogfish pollock herring mackerl wrasse bass garfish gobies
best fish:2LB pollock 3LB doggie and 2LB bass and a 3LB wrasse. i do alot of pier fishing which mean not many fish over 4LB mark
Last week fishing from the pier at Crinan one of the island cruise boats anchored out in the bay and a couple of small tenders were bringing the cruise passengers ashore for a couple of hours to have a look at the Crinan canal. A couple of families from the ship were standing behind me as I hooked a good 2lb+ mackie. This one was for the pot but I didn't want to kill the fish in front of the children in case it upset them so I turned round, pointed to the sky and said
"oh look, there's an eagle"
and quickly turned back to whack the fish on the head while they were distracted. I didn't want to be messing around so I gave the fish an almighty whack on the head..............
except I missed its head and gave myself an almighty whack on the finger.
I've still got the bruise today:bangin:
was down at mevagissey in may watching the brainless tourists fihing and enjoying a walk with the wife and one angler was stood up on the high wall on the harbour so he could get a full swing on his cast,little did he know as he let some line out with the rod pointing bacwards and looking forwards his weight and line was banging all over the roof and bonnet of a BMW which was very shiny and looked new and then as he casts the line nearly pulled the aerial off the cars roof.What a fool.:roll1:
-Scott-V-
20-10-2008, 16:30
rod smashing....i have turned it into an art form with many rods to my tally, there are different techniques you can use such as
Scott you have a bite the floats going under....jump from the rocks 4ft down to the rod, pick it up and strike!! and watch the rod flop over....thats what happens when you land on one :doh:
another....3 rods in one week, not all by me but they were my rods :wallbash:
dave1957
20-10-2008, 20:08
When i used to do a lot of boat fishing i often used mussel.I peeled them as we travelled to the marks. A few times i peeled one and threw the knife overboard instead of the empty shell.DOH.:doh:
Cromcruaich
21-10-2008, 11:09
When i used to do a lot of boat fishing i often used mussel.I peeled them as we travelled to the marks. A few times i peeled one and threw the knife overboard instead of the empty shell.DOH.:doh:
:laugh::laugh: brave of you to come clean about that one.
Andy ILSF
23-10-2008, 10:41
worst i have done is let a bucket full of peelers loose in my car and the wife found out cos 1 crawled onto the passenger seat whilst she was driving omg did i have some grovveling to do or what..:doh::doh:
gulp me drug
23-10-2008, 11:04
worst i have done is let a bucket full of peelers loose in my car and the wife found out cos 1 crawled onto the passenger seat whilst she was driving omg did i have some grovveling to do or what..:doh::doh:
I can just see the insurance claim form, if she had bent the car!!
brickie lee
23-10-2008, 18:34
Fishing on folkestone pier with a group of mates in a fairly strong wind, matey poured out a cup of veggie soup from his flask n promptly got a bite, after reeling in a rather nice dab said, soups cold now n threw it over the side only to have it come straight back at him from his face downwards, looked like someone had yakked on him, laughed till nearly sick meself!
Another time fishing out the bus shelter at hythe me mate fell asleep whilst warmin his hands over the tilly lamp, we watched n waited........... slowly but surely his hands got closer n closer to the lamp untill the innevatable, tttsssssssss went his hands, scream went him, laugh went us, brilliant lol
brickie lee
23-10-2008, 18:45
After fishing all night on the admiralty my mate fell asleep, i caught a whiting n upon noticing him snoring i stuck the fish on his nose which in turn bit him, he woke with a start n then punched me in the head lol
Have seen it happen a couple times....watching fellow WSFers casting....swing,swing, all looks nice, power stroke applied :thumbs:....."Oh, and how far did you manage to cast your tripod?"
Have seen it happen a couple times....watching fellow WSFers casting....swing,swing, all looks nice, power stroke applied :thumbs:....."Oh, and how far did you manage to cast your tripod?"
Reminds me of a mates OHT at chesil .....with a run-up...........and shouted `GERONIMO' ..........those sand spikes stay put don`t they............laughed till i cried.
Andy ILSF
24-10-2008, 05:25
I can just see the insurance claim form, if she had bent the car!!
ohh dont think bout me like lol all the making up i had to do just so i could use the car for fishing again eh..lol:rtfm::rtfm::rtfm:
ianroberts
24-10-2008, 07:40
In late june when fishing off the shingle beach at Rhos on Sea, I managed to stumble and end up with my 6" filleting knife sticking right through my right foot, in from the inside of my foot and the point sticking out of my ankle, 1.75 pts of blood and 18 stiches later they let me out of Hospital.
http://i183.photobucket.com/albums/x172/ianroberts1/Foot/MyFoot002.jpg
http://i183.photobucket.com/albums/x172/ianroberts1/Foot/MyFoot003.jpg
http://i183.photobucket.com/albums/x172/ianroberts1/Foot/MyFoot001.jpg
ALLWAYS KEEP YOUR KNIFE IN ITS SHEATH !
OK lets get it over with ,
Fillet of sole
OK lets get it over with ,
Fillet of sole
Very good :clap3::clap3::clap3:
I have that knife too, cant cut butter with it :lmao:
ianroberts
24-10-2008, 13:30
OK lets get it over with ,
Fillet of sole
Everyones a comedian !
ianroberts
24-10-2008, 13:32
By the way, the doc said I was lucky the blade was so flexible, skipped over all the bones instead of going through them
Have seen a few nasties out fishing , a filleting knife through the hand while dressing scallops, the skipper said he saw someone stumble and stick a filleting knife in his own neck (helicopter job) a few months earlier . Another rogue wave made one skipper stand on the pointy bit of the big conger gaff he was holding, he was not a very happy chappie at the best of times.
I have had the top hook of a 10/0 pennel stuck in my upper arm, luckily my floaty suit took the brunt of it as there was a peed off 25lb conger on the other hook and it could have been much much worse........... sniggle
I managed to do this
http://i243.photobucket.com/albums/ff9/343kevinh/hookeye.jpg
Spinning for pollock never seemed so dangerous...lol
bertyboy2008
28-10-2008, 12:49
me and ma old mate used ta go down to carrick pier and get some fresh macrel to use for bait nothin better lol to find a couple a lads sitting fishing away i asked are ya gettin much lads and they replied aye weve ad a few like so a set ma wee spinning rod up and started spinning .i happend to take a glance over to see one lad casting his rig out baited wit feg butts and his mate baiting his rig up with fresh FEG BUTS :whistling THINK REGAL FILTER WORKING BEST THESE DAYS
KingFish1987
28-10-2008, 15:13
me and the girl/f went fishin for about 6 hours or so at hillend loch so were sitting there and i get a pull i said im in then she runs and gets the preist shes soo excited then 2 secs later it was off lets jst say she wasnt happy lol about an hour later i starts spining with a dexter wedge me acting all kool a said watch this casted out only to see my other end of the rod flying with it lol luckily enough i reeled it back in with the dexter wedge still attached we did catch one fish that day a nice 2lb 6 oz brown trout
peeweefisher
28-10-2008, 16:55
my mate that i fish with ALWAYS falls asleep so there were 4 of us out at one time and as usual he crashed out on his chair(that we carried to the beach). the other two boys promptly stuck the biggest launce we ever had straight up his nose then spent about half hour rolling round in fits of laughter. immature but very funny
2 12 inch beasts poking right out and he didnt wake up for ages
raymond scaife
28-10-2008, 22:42
When i started courting the wife i decided to romance her by taking her on a night fishing trip:love:
We set up and started fishing as night fell i started to get bites immediatly finally hooking into a decent bream:fishing:
in the excitement i asked the wife to net it which she did and for her reward got her trainers and socks wet:cold:
As it got colder the hunter gatherer in me decided to take over and i started a fire to dry her stuff:showoff:
Fire roaring fish biting what more could a man ask for.
Suddenly the wife screamed in a panic i asked what was wrong she replied youve burnt my trainer you ....... idiot:banghead::slap:
I decided to fish on bagging a load more bream before finally carrying her back to the car in the morning she never complained about our romantic trip but charged me for new trainers
Oh well true love and fishing costs we got married 6 months later:kissing:
coastman
01-11-2008, 01:20
Got a example to contribute.
My mate who is new to fishing and had a complex on casting far out in view of other more experienced anglers at Moelfre on Anglesey.
Opened the bale arm, swung the rod behind ready to launch, Whoof.
Hooked his asda chair and over his head it flew, i nearly ****ed my pants. He tends to watch the sea birds now, i wonder why ?
Coastman
gazza1878
03-11-2008, 16:17
once i tripped into my tripod knocking it over and me falling on top of it another my mate thought he had a bite went to strike it not knowing his line was rapped around his tripod nearly striking it into his face :bangin:
30+ years ago now but fresh as a daisy in my mind, well maybee not that fresh but please read on.
10 of us were in a Wimpey, bright orange, minibus on our way back from Brid. Paul, the driver worked for Wimpey, transport cost us nothing and we never asked.
Ok we got there and the fog was down, pubs opened so we sought sollace there, skipper found us and said the fog lifted, did we want a 5 hour trip. How he knew where we were is a mystery.
Ok we went we fished we returned. Stopped for fuel and there was this young lady hitching so being 10 gentlemen, slightly, well OK mostly Pished we stopped and cleared a bench seat for her sole occupancy.
She wanted York for the Uni where she was a student. Perhaps 10 miles from York at 70mph Steve announced that he needed an immediate toilet stop for a number 2. Well not his exact words but you get the idea, Paul driving said bright orange minibus said he would stop at the next services.
This was not going to placate Steve obviously as he stated he wanted a S++t now, immediately, without further procrastination, he was touching cloth, turtle had it's head out the shell etc.
Paul in turn informed Steve to clench his Gluteus Maximus unil the next services, there was nothing he could do to help until we reached said services.
Next thing we saw was Steve sliding open the window adjacent to his seat which was initially refreshing due to the influx of fresh Yorkshire air into the bus, perhaps this freah air would slow the peristalsis. Our hopes were short lived however, next he dropped his trolleys much to the dismay of our hitchhiker seated directly behind him.
He stood and deftly positioned said gluteus maximus within the window orrifice and relaxed his sphyncter. The result was immediate and obvious to all and accompanied by a huge sigh of orgasmic relief from Steve, and much intestinal noise reflected into the bus.
The resultant liquid eructation left his bowel at considerable speed, however, it was nowhere near enough to overcome the slipstream of a Wimpey minibus travelling at the National speed limit.
Our young female guest seated directly behind Steve got the full benefit of the resultant vapours emitted from Steves colonic tract not to mention her window directly to her left becoming encrusted with the most foul corruption consisting of the digested remains of last night's beef madras and several pints of Samuel Holt's finest ale which were used to get it down and cool the oesophagus.
Paul immediately pulled onto the hard shoulder in accordance with the Road Traffic act, this being a serious emergency.None of us could breath and the nearside of the Wimpey Wagon was visibly corroding affecting the structural integrity of the vehicle.
As soon as the doors to our anerobic prison opened we fell out gasping for air onto the grass embankment, emitting cries of you f+++++g dirty b++++++rd and such like, the young lady beat us all out and was last seen legging it up the motorway embankment gagging and wretching never to be seen again.
I often wonder what became of her, did she pass,,,,,,out, did she become Sir Alans Apprentice, did she specialise as a proctologist, it will remain one of life's unanswered questions.
We tried 3 services on the way home but none of them would sell us a car wash token, in my humble opinion I think they all saw something of the Jackson Pollacks in our partially brown and orange custom Wimpey mini bus and had no wish to see it destroyed. the nearside windows were almost completely obscured and Paul himself gagged every time he had to make use of his nearside mirror.
Anyway Steve was from thence known as the '70mph sh1te'
Real tears here. Real tears.
crazyplums
03-11-2008, 22:06
Real tears here. Real tears.
me too, that, and the story about some bloke crapping in his floation suit hood, always make me weep with laughter!
Having read all the posts in this thread, I feel I have to recount my own two tales but I warn you that they are lame by comparison.
I took delivery of a new mobile phone, only to break it by dropping some wood ono it about three hours later. Orange got a replacement to me the next day. That weekend was a boat weekend. I launched the boat, my brother in law was already in it. I took the Disco up to the car park and then waded out to where my B-i-L was in the boat, complete with the replacement phone in my pocket.
I had a spare phone in the caravan so not too much of a problem there. The next day we were out again, same scenario but this time my B-i-L took my phone off me before launching. When we came back in I jumped over to go get the Disco and reversed the trailer down the slipway. The sea had got a bit choppy with a side winfd on so trailering the boat was proving difficult as a one handed job. I asked my B-i-L to jump over and give me a hand, which he did. Complete with my Mobile in his pocket.
The other tale is from a long, long time ago in a Galaxy far, far away. A Galaxy called youth.
Three of us set off on a Friday night, down to Dungeness for a weekend session. We arrived there at about 9pm and started fishing. I fished all through the night, all through Saturday daytime, most of saturday night and all Sunday daytime, I took very little sleep, but had some special stay awake dust with me. We had all the gear with us; tilley lamps, primus stoves, plenty of parrafin, fresh water in abundance and [planty of easily cooked food. We had a great time, it was back in the early 80's when Dungeness was a Mecca for cod fishing (is it still? I've only recently got back into shore fishing).
We left for home early evening on the Sunday and as I drove my nice, shiney Mk2 escort estate along a track made of sleepers, I wasn't fully copus-mentus. I missed a turn in the track, but when I realised I had missed the turn I then turned hard left whilst on the shingle, turning the car upside down onto its roof. There was parrafin, water, fish and plenty of rubbish thrown around everywhere in the car. The six rods and three tripods that had been tied to the roof-rack were smashed to pieces, the front window exploded and the rear window fell out.
With a bit of help from some other fisherfolk the car was turned back upright and the engine just about started with the last knockings from the battery. The smoke from the exhaust was dreadful, but it soon cleared.
I had no AA cover so the only option was to drive from Dungeness to darkest Essex with no front or rear windows in the middle of winter. I think we stopped at every service area on the way, just to warm ourselves up.
The only saving grace was that we didn't have someone elses 2nd hand chicken madras fouling the side windows!
I once went fishing wearing a Wychwood jacket.
Charlie Gum
04-11-2008, 01:41
I once went fishing at the sea life centre. They were ****in' livid. :unsure:
[[[Steve]]]
04-11-2008, 02:39
I cast my reel in a few years back but i suppose everyone has done that at some point eh? :clap3:
DJMCJERICO
04-11-2008, 06:11
]];1463257']I cast my reel in a few years back but i suppose everyone has done that at some point eh? :clap3:
Nope!:crazy:
JRHartley
04-11-2008, 10:14
]];1463257']I cast my reel in a few years back but i suppose everyone has done that at some point eh? :clap3:
Yep, aged about 10, off Blackpool Pier. The reel belonged to my Grandad and was his favourite reel, a closed face fixed spool [never seen a closed face reeel since]. He was stood right beside me as I sent it to the bottom of the sea. Luckily it just dropped off the [un]fastened seat and went straight down over the hand rail, so I got it back up after hand lining about 150 yrds of line back in..... never worked properly again.
Grumpy Boy
04-11-2008, 10:18
I heard a story about a guy who always used to fall asleep on charter trips only waking up for food or if his reel took off.
One day the rest of the trip reeled his line in and hooked a towel and tossed it overboard. In a few minutes line was stripping from his reel and he woke up. After a massive fight he landed said towel.
I suppose you had to be there......
gummybat
04-11-2008, 11:50
had a joke backfire on us on a charter boat one trip, a group of us would go out regular on a charter boat and we had a sleeper amungst us too (hmm seem every boat has one) anyway one time our sleeper was snoring away to himself and accidently one of us hooked his line after untangling the line we figured we would play a joke on the the guy and attached a kiddies plastic bath toy in the shape of a whale to his hook and tossed it back over and then awaited the response when he reeled in a whale, within a few minutes his rod tip bounced, the whale we thought was waving in the tide and we awaited the roar of laughter as he reeled in our plastic whale , he jumped awake and started reeling in after a little fight he pulled a 10lb cod into the boat and in its mouth was.. yes you guessed it, :ohmy: a little yellow plastic whale
mymate bought a new pair of waders just before we went fishing, after baiting up a nice chunk of mackeral, he wiped his knife in his leg twice, causing 2 slices through his waders about 12 inches long.
Grumpy Boy
04-11-2008, 12:12
mymate bought a new pair of waders just before we went fishing, after baiting up a nice chunk of mackeral, he wiped his knife in his leg twice, causing 2 slices through his waders about 12 inches long.
He could have cut his leg off/bled to death.
An old landlord and his son were butchers. His boy was doing his normal work when the knife slipped and he cut himself by his hip.
Not too bad until he realised he had cut a major artery/vein. He died a few times on his way to hospital and a couple more times whilst they were sewing him back up. Lost loads of blood and was on the sick for ages....
Ogritheleadchucker
07-11-2008, 20:26
Easy one to answer......
Arranged to go fishing with a mate to our weekly match event, picked up bait the following day on a shopping trip to town and got everything together for the next day.....
Set the alarm and got up in good time, fetched the tackle round to the front door and stood outside the house for an hour wondering why I hadn't been picked up
King Numpty of the Numpty people was a day behind everbody else!!!!!..... boy did I get a ribbing at work....
I'm still shaking my head as I type this..............
the rock hopper
07-11-2008, 20:42
went off a pier at night... my mate had a running ledger off the edge of the pier,managed to get the hook caught on the end eye and let the bale arm off, so down goes the weight without the hook and bait! hahahahaha i was in stiches wen i saw what happend and he didnt realise... wen to real in half an hour later finding his bait and hook never even touched the water! hahaha:bounce::bounce::bounce:
beachy blue
08-11-2008, 21:53
one of the funniest things was today at the help for heroes match i wont name names but wait til you see the pics
spursboyz
08-11-2008, 23:39
the funniest thing to happen to me whilst fishing (painful aswell) was when started out mackerel fishing we were seeing who could cast the furthest with the lads i was swinging my 40z weight and casting out .but guy next to me said stad to the side as you cast out but try get your weight behind your foot instaed of up the beach so i did first cast out i had 2 maccy feather hooks embeaded deep in my leg and as line went out it snapped leaving the maccy trace down my leg . my leg felt like it was on fire
gonefishin
08-11-2008, 23:56
the funniest thing to happen to me whilst fishing (painful aswell) was when started out mackerel fishing we were seeing who could cast the furthest with the lads i was swinging my 40z weight and casting out .but guy next to me said stad to the side as you cast out but try get your weight behind your foot instaed of up the beach so i did first cast out i had 2 maccy feather hooks embeaded deep in my leg and as line went out it snapped leaving the maccy trace down my leg . my leg felt like it was on fire
It does make me wonder if it feels the same for the fish!
spursboyz
09-11-2008, 01:28
hi gone fishin thats 1 thing we will never know .ive always said fish must feel pain .like when you cut yourself when fishing and get sea water in your cut it stings it must be the same for the fish get hook deep in then and water must sting them but like said we will never know if dose
simon barefoot
09-11-2008, 01:39
Years ago I used to crew a charter boat and one morning I brought it in from the mooring to the side of the slip for the skipper cos he was a lazy so n so. Anyway, on said slip was a couple of guys launching some cheap and nasty speedboat off a trailer. They tied it up along from me and asked if it would be ok there while they went off to get some food. I said 'Yes, but be quick cos the tides dropping pretty fast.'
'Yeah right' was the reply, implying that I didnt know what I was on about. Anyway, half an hour later we're about to leave(the skipper had finally arrived) and I go off to find them cos their boat was hanging at a fine angle, only to be told that their boat was fine and they knew what they were doing. We decided to 'hang on' and watch the ensueing chaos. Unfortunately the grp foredeck gave out before the rope snapped, leaving 3/4 of a boat floating loose and a bizzare and rather early xmas decoration hanging from the harbour!
the crutchless wonder
09-11-2008, 11:11
Fishing off the rocks in India wearing just short pair of dungarees i landed my first puffa fish! didnt realise at the time......wasn't till i had unhooked him and casted out again that he decided to puff up, and up, and up and up!!!!!! being the girlie that I am i jumped up off my perch doing a "girlie, oh my god its gonna kill me dance!!" and the bib part of my braces fell down....now doing my erica rowe impression 20 yards from the crowded beach i could see the Inian tourist police congregating in their masses (its illegal to show parts of female anatomy in India!!!)anyway thankfully I didnt get arrested, but that night in the bar I had loads of drinks bought for me and strangely there were loads of people who wanted to go fishing with me the next day!!!!!!!
A few years back a guy from work who'd just started fishing got a bit too keen on things and let a more experienced angler wind him up a bit...
We're all on Steetley pier and the experienced guy says to me "I told him the other day the bait that they're getting all the codling on up here... go look in his bait bucket."
So I have a wander over for a chin wag and then I lifted the lid on his bait bucket....
Bird's Eye fish fingers.
mainlandmike
09-11-2008, 13:54
I know this story is not sea related but I gotta tell you about it.
Many years ago I was Salmon fishing on my local river in Ireland with a few mates.
We had stopped for a brew and along the bank came this guy with a bamboo rod that must have been about 18ft long.
The rod was bent and looked like it had been leaning against a corner for years, it raised a few eyebrows amongs us.
Anyway the chap waltzed up to us and asked if he could have a cuppa.
We gave him the kettle from the campfire and noticed that he had dozens of fishing badges pinned to his baseball cap.
He told us he was Welsh and that he travelled all over the world fishing, he spouted for ages.
He reckoned he was on a fishing holiday in Ireland.
Eventually he tied a large spoon onto his line and then he did the most stupid thing I ever saw he walked down to the riverbank and casted the spoon way out across the river, then he took a rodrest and placed his rod on it, tightened up the slack line and marched back over to us,
Ledgered out a spoon????
we could barely stop ourselves from bursting out laughing, some walked away.
He continued to rant about all the fish he had caught when suddenly his reel statred to scream.
We watched in amazement as his rod fell and was being dragged along the bank.
He pannicked and ran screaming towards the rod, grabbed it and struck, yelling something like "YEEEHAW"
Suddenly a swan took off running on water flapping like a goodun and took off.
The guys reel was emptied and we almost died laughing.
He sheepishly walked up the bank, picked up his bag and said "Thanks for the tea lads".
That was it, I just cracked up, I still laugh today when I think about it almost twenty years later.:1a:
football-to-fish
09-11-2008, 18:00
me and my son were fishing walmer in kent in the daytime,when a guy turns up with his wife,he tries out a pair of chest high waders he takes no chances just seems like he's trying out some new gear,later the wife has them on and goes into the sea prancing about and cheering like she's at a rave.the water is up to her chest, showing no respect to the sea,then she stumbles and is drenched,her old man gets her out,and she's blaming him,so funny watching him cast to retrive her baseball cap.we laugh and laugh hard about it now,but at the time it was a kin scary seeing her go under.
Sam_Lougher
09-11-2008, 18:19
In The Past Few Years, I Have Had A Few Incidents Whilst Fishing, But Have Had A Few Highlights That I Remember Strongly...
First Was, Whilst Fishing Down Wooltack Point, West Wales, Mackerel Bashing I Had Cast Out A Set Of Feathers About 100 Yards Out. As Wooltack Point Being Like It Is Fishing Off A Ledge Approximately 10ft High Or So, You Had To Quickly Lift Any Catches Up The Ledge. Whilst On The Retrieve, I Felt The Shudders Of Mackerel As They Fell For The Feathers, Then All Of A Sudden There Was One Almight Bang And The Rod Doubled Right Over... After A Minute Or So Of Steady Pumping And A Small Crowd Gathered Watching The Action... It Was Only 20 Yards Out And Just Under The Surface Before We All Saw A Very Large Black Splodge Shoot Off Downtide, Sharply To My Left Before An Allmight Crack And The Line Parting... Only For 2 Minutes Later A Large Seal Popped His Head Out Right Infront Of Me With A Few Of My Mackerel In His Gob... Within A Few More Seconds It Submerged Back Into The Water To Never Be Seen Again Until Doing Exactly The Same To A Fisherman Next To Me... :)
Good Reading...
Tight Lines,
Sam_lougher.
paulk536
11-11-2008, 02:33
A friend of mine decided to try a hand line in the surf looking for bass. He stuck a fully loaded rig on a spool of shockleader with a pen through the middle. Whirled it round his head like some sort of cowboy about to lasso a cow, launched it and watched the line peel off the spool at a rate of knots. The numpty overdid the power and the line on the spool ran out. He was a right sight trying to catch the line as he saw it go!
My brother done a funny one last time fishing.
Had a mid air birdie, decided to cut his line while he untangled it and it slipped out of his grasp, so there he was looking around on the rocks for his line, which he found in the end. So he ties it to his rod somewhere, untangles the birdie and double blood knots the line 2gether. Starts reeling in and wonders why the lines getting tangled round his reel, idiot didnt pass the line through the eyes of the rods. :dry:
Cromcruaich
11-11-2008, 17:27
... It Was Only 20 Yards Out And Just Under The Surface Before We All Saw A Very Large Black Splodge Shoot Off Downtide, Sharply To My Left Before An Allmight Crack And The Line Parting... Only For 2 Minutes Later A Large Seal Popped His Head Out Right Infront Of Me With A Few Of My Mackerel In His Gob... Within A Few More Sec
Sam_lougher.
They are a curse around anglesey. Always set your drag!
Was playing one for about 15 minutes this summer off Moelfre on a bass rod and tiny multiplier - figured that if i can keep it occupied at least it gives the other anglers a chance.
Keep threatening to pull out my shore tope gear and have a proper fight with it - anyone know what Seal tastes like?
j.d.strange@blueyonder.co
13-11-2008, 23:04
Gotta tell about a trip to durley resevoir near bridgewater about ten years ago, a long story but.......Oh my god!!
The family was camping, mum, sisters, brother all the kids etc. Me and me brother heard there were loads of bream coming out from the far end of the resevoir so as we had our gear we went up to have a look on an evening.
Sure enough some blokes bagging up on them, so we hastily walk back to the car (about a mile), and go back to get ready for the next morning.
About 5.45 we quietly sneak off, so as not to disturb anyone. As we get to the campsite gate we find to our horror it is locked. It's ok I say, the farmer will be up!
The words the farmer shouted from his bedroom window cannot be repeated here. But fair play he let us out.
Now just a ten minute drive and..........S**T!! The gate to the resevoir is locked!! Opens at eight.:wallbash:
Oh well we sit it out.....then walk with a load of gear the mile to the swims.
We both chuck a good twenty balls of groundbait in, i bait up with a couple of maggots on a size 20 hook and think we'll need to wait an hour or so for it to pick up. I cast in and wander over for a coffee to annoy my brother. I just reach him when I hear a crash as my rod is dragged from its rests and see it heading for the middle of the resevoir. my brother waves me off :bye1: as i strip to my boxers and swim after it (stupid i know)
He can't beleive that when I reach the now static rod, that I'm treading water and playing a large fish:fishing1:
I make it back to the bank and land a seven pound comon carp :clap2: I even hear claps from other anglers.
So now i take my brothers car keys and squelch the mile to the car...........to realise i don't know the code to start it!:wallbash::wallbash: Back i go past all the now slightly bemused anglers, get the code, drive to the campsite, change, eat some food, go back.......sit in my swim........and..........my brother gets a f****ng call out for work and we gotta go :wallbash:
So by about 2.00 I'd had one cast, about 6 miles of hikeing and a day i'd never forget :1a:
tsfishing
13-11-2008, 23:15
well me nd nathy2k8 was fishing the oj wehn i had a load of weed around the end of my leader knot and i cudnt reel in anymore . he was sitting next to me baiting up when i thought id yank it up and this is hell off a way down so what did i do yanked it up with a 5 oz lead on it hit him directly on top of his head lol p****** myself laughing he was ok thoe just a big fat lump lol
gulp me drug
15-11-2008, 04:49
Heysham North Wall, silly o'clock at night. Car pulls up and a young lady asks if I am willing to be photographed pretending to teach two of them fishing. I was: chap sat on the roof of the car, and took pix of the three of us holding the rod. They thanked me profusely and drove off. I never thought to ask what the pic was for. They did say they chose me because I was fishing next to the "No Fishing" sign.........
hogsaway
15-11-2008, 15:00
Sort of a fishing story from many years ago......
Sat on a bench watching the Met. police divers searching the bottom of the lake in Regents Park just across from the Zoo. They are looking for the body of a missing person. The diver is out on his hands & knees invisible in the murk but for a few bubbles about 25 yards out. His oppo, togged up in a drysuit as Pc Coustau, is on the side holding the end of a thick rope to which the diver is attached. He has a holdall full of grapples & some ropes on the floor beside him. An aging hippy, greenie type woman, all floral prints & flowing scarves slowly approaches then stands beside him for a minute staring out at the bubbles, looking somewhat puzzled. The diver reaches the end of his outward search, shuffles across a couple of feet & starts coming back so his mate yanks the rope across with a couple of tugs. There's obviously something on the end of the rope, so now she's really intrigued & plucks up the courage to ask what he's doing.
He tells her he's from the RSPCA & a shark has escaped from the Zoo which he's trying to catch. He's been to the zoo & borrowed a baby seal which he's stuck on one of these hooks like he has here in the bag. The bottom jaw yoyo's a couple of times, so he finishes her off by saying how this ones getting a bit lifeless so he might have to go & get another.
She took a moment to realise she was being bulled but before that she went a shade of volcanic lava & physically shook with speechless rage whilst stabbing a finger in his face. I think hearing me trying not to choke with laughter may have tipped her off............
Now that is excellent bull.......:busted_co:roll1:
cold catcher
21-11-2008, 22:47
i brought a brand new rod rod out of bday money so i went down the sea wall FIRST ever cast the top section of rod went flying into water i had to get up at 4 in the morning at low tide to get the top section back lol
Dude I feel your pain.
Some years ago having just purchased a conoflex nemisis and mag elite combo for £300 I wanted to check out its form.
Drove to Brighton marina, attached a big pennel rig baited with a mackeral fillet and calimari coctail and flicked it over the side.
Whilst baiting my second rod I heard a ruckus that I thought was the rod rest falling over. I looked round thinking I hope that my new rods not been scratched only to see that my new rod was gone. I looked away and then looked back again on the off chance that I was wrong, but no it was still gone!
I spent the next hour trawling the sea bed with 2 sets of mackeral feathers attached to my other rod, to no avail.
cold catcher
24-11-2008, 19:16
unlucky mate its hart breaking when it happens
COD SQUAD
26-11-2008, 14:15
The one with the hook in the nipple made me laugh untill a little bit of wee come out.
I remember one when my dad,brother and i were fishing the river tees at preston park and we were sat 5ft apart watching our rod tips when we heard a mooing sound, now i was only 10ish at the time and asked my dad where it was coming from so he pointed out some cows on the other bank and said it must be them ,satisfied with the answer i turned my concentration back to my fishing, only the mooing was getting louder and louder just then my dads tackle box proceeds to fly over our heads and into the river then his sandwiches then his flask as we turn round there is a lad who obviously has mental problems stood there laughing before scarpering off. we sat there in disbelief at what had just happend when 2 mins later an old man in his 70s staggers up his face all purple with red blotches, panting like mad asks if weve seen a lad run past, a few four letter words from my dad later and it turns out the old man works at a centre for the mentally disabled and the lad who had thrown our gear in was part of an outing organised by the old man who tells us that while walking in the woods with the group the disabled boy had pushed him into a large patch of nettles and legged it away from the rest of the group. We point him in the direction the lad ran then proceeded to absolutley p**S ourselves at the old boy tryin to catch up to the lad.
bald dodge
21-12-2008, 14:48
was mullet fishing the river hamble during the summer slipped and fell in got totally soaked
Swindonangler
22-12-2008, 22:57
Have never laughed so hard in all my life reading through this entire thread! Just too funny! 70mph sh1te!!lmfao!
Birds Nest
23-12-2008, 18:39
Back in the early nineties a m8 had a flat at sandgate that backed onto the beach. Had a nice barbie with friends and lots of beer. High tide was approaching so we decided to give it a bash straight out of his back garden. We both fell asleep (not together:ohmy:) woke up around 11 am with rods still cast out with rigs now sitting on the shingle and a load of amused sunbathers watching us reel in!!!:crazy::laugh:
Birds Nest
23-12-2008, 18:40
Just realised I have already posted this:crazy::oops:
clivewire
23-12-2008, 20:08
A friend of mine decided to try a hand line in the surf looking for bass. He stuck a fully loaded rig on a spool of shockleader with a pen through the middle. Whirled it round his head like some sort of cowboy about to lasso a cow, launched it and watched the line peel off the spool at a rate of knots. The numpty overdid the power and the line on the spool ran out. He was a right sight trying to catch the line as he saw it go!
what a nob head, i bet it was funny to watch though:oops:
Swindonangler
23-12-2008, 21:05
The only thing remotely daft i've done was when coarse fishing. Had a light elastic on through the pole, when i hooked into a big carp, and couldnt fight the fish at all, the carp was overkill for me... Anyway, the carp ran into the reeds to the right, and the elastic hung on, but i couldnt fight it back.
Ended up having to strip down to my shorts and get wet, swimming across to the fish, unhooking, releasing, and then getting my gear free....
Could just see other fisherman looking at me thinking "wtf is he on?"
Another time, i was fishing a small lake designed to attract the younger angler to the sport, by giving them free membership,. Anyway, i'm there, fishing in the rain, not having much luck, when i look across to the other side of the lake, to see one of the chinese owners of the restaurant on the lake walk to the lake side, strip down to blue y fronts, and just dive in...just decided to go for a swim in a lake.. :s
gonefishin
23-12-2008, 21:22
"..............to see one of the chinese owners of the restaurant on the lake walk to the lake side, strip down to blue y fronts, and just dive in...just decided to go for a swim in a lake.. :s[/quote]
Old Chinese proverb, badly adapted to this tale, says "man who keeps fish and peas in same lake velly unhygenic person!"
Coat!
biggysmalls
23-12-2008, 21:32
i saw someone spend £300 on a rod, £80 on a reel and £90 on tackle and still caught the same as me with a £30 set up with a £1.20 rig
Diab demer
26-12-2008, 11:55
Last sat. was bad enough forgetting my bait knive and chopping board. It was like a builder without his hammer and drill in his toolkit
But in september when I had my mackrelle head out on my pennell while fishing on a little jetty on a hampshire venue something took it. I mean the rod flew off into the ocean at around near midnight. I could'nt just sit back and watch, so instinct said jump in now! Jump in is what I did with my mobile, wallet, fags, head torch etc. I managed to recover the rod and trying to fight a big bass (most likely) airbourne but eventually I lost it when the line slacked. Gutted!!! What's worst I lost my head torch and had to walked back to my car (about half a mile away) coz I was soaked and freezing my ass in pitch neap darkness with no other anglers/anyone to help. Since then, I ****,myself when fishing on jetties/pontoons. It just spooks me now. But I still fish by myself always but mostly on shringles with my tripod very far up the beach rather than near the water.
Fishing off eyemouth pier years ago using beachcaster and multiplyer.
Things were going fine and it was pretty quiet when an extended family wandered over to watch me cast out while they licked their ice creams.
In my haste to impress them I hadn't noticed that the line had snagged itself around my rodtip.
So I give it some huge welly, there was a funny snapping sound at the reel end and I watched the top half of my luvly beachcaster sail about 400 yards out into the bay.
:ohmy:
I was too embarrassed to even turn around.
I propped the remaining half of my gear to one side, lit a smoke and just kept staring out at sea.
Fishing off eyemouth pier years ago using beachcaster and multiplyer.
Things were going fine and it was pretty quiet when an extended family wandered over to watch me cast out while they licked their ice creams.
In my haste to impress them I hadn't noticed that the line had snagged itself around my rodtip.
So I give it some huge welly, there was a funny snapping sound at the reel end and I watched the top half of my luvly beachcaster sail about 400 yards out into the bay.
:ohmy:
I was too embarrassed to even turn around.
I propped the remaining half of my gear to one side, lit a smoke and just kept staring out at sea.
Beaut...........now that`s some caber toss:)
reeleminryan
26-12-2008, 23:08
Whilst fishing a local club match on Neyland marina I got my trace stuck in the wall. I thought I could reach down and pull it out and ended up slipping down the wall into the sea. Luckily the water only came up to my waste but the embarrassment and nearly 100 other anglers taking the **** out of me all day. I had to wade round to the slip way in full view of everyone. :wallbash:[/QUOTE]
lol kellogs thats very funny,i fish hobbs point quite alot and one summer after fishing i decided to jump off the slip and have a swim because it was a hot day..... meanwile i came out the water and my mate proceeded to go to the part where kelpies is and he jumped off that side ,i did try and shout him not to eeeerrrr ok maybe i didnt 4 seconds later, squelch straight in to the mud it was only about 4ft deep...:spiteful:
I used to go out with an old guy in his boat and my job was the launching and recovering.
One day he reversed the boat and trailer back for me to hold steady in the water, once she was afloat i gave him the signal to take the trailer back up to the carpark....he put the jeep into first gear and headed back up the beach- next thing i know i was pulled right under the water... I hadnt moved out of the trailers way enough and the wheel caught me and dragged my under..lol
I manged to surface with a few swear words, ripped waders and a massive bruise. Trust me, i never done that again.
fishbits
26-12-2008, 23:46
going to the fridge..picking up a bag of mushrooms instead of picking up a bag of peeler crab then driving 40 miles to go fishing and meet up with your dad and mates who had entrusted you with getting the bait........:hammer:
going to the fridge..picking up a bag of mushrooms instead of picking up a bag of peeler crab then driving 40 miles to go fishing and meet up with your dad and mates who had entrusted you with getting the bait........:hammer:
lol, did you even try using them? never know, mite be one of them unknown baits. :)
i saw someone spend £300 on a rod, £80 on a reel and £90 on tackle and still caught the same as me with a £30 set up with a £1.20 rig
Same sort of thing happened to me when i took my daughter fishing for the first time. I was using my 2 rods, multis, 1 rod at distance, 1 close in, expecting some result, 2 hook rigs. I let her use a crappy old rod, 1 hook ledger rig, (not even a running ledger. Main line tired onto weight, hookline tired onto weight. And she out fished me catching some nice flatties and an eel while all i caught was 1 tiny flounder and weed. :(
fishbits
27-12-2008, 00:11
thats why i hate taking my son fishing...no matter what crap i give him to use he still catches:hammer:
Was fishing down the river about a month ago and a fella comes along and set up next to me. I got chatting to him like you do. Turns out he was a trout fisherman, only was down there coz his mate had a codling about 4lb and his never really been sea fishing. He only goes and reels in a 6lb 8oz cod using squid heads, bloke was buzzing while unhooking it, see his hands shaking, saying thats the best fish his ever caught. Straight on the phone to his mate, gave me his bait and he packed up and went home, job done. While i sat there and blanked. :D :D i felt like chucking my rods in as ive probably had about 20+ sessions down there and managed nothing bigger than 4lb, his there about 2 hours and catches that. :D
reeleminryan
27-12-2008, 03:26
im sure you will get one ,but thats fishing you always get flukey buggers that catch come along with 10 pound set ups and land sumthing that youve been waiting for all them years:offtopic:
im sure you will get one ,but thats fishing you always get flukey buggers that catch come along with 10 pound set ups and land sumthing that youve been waiting for all them years:offtopic:
I think ive managed 30+ codling this winter and most of them have been between 2-3lb, i try everything, big baits etc, all the baits in the book, to no avail.
Anyway, ignore me and go back on topic like you pointed out reeleminryan. ;) Ive added my daftest moments in this thread and i cant think of anything else to add. If, and no doubt something will crop up, i will be back here and post it. ;)
reeleminryan
27-12-2008, 04:19
I think ive managed 30+ codling this winter and most of them have been between 2-3lb, i try everything, big baits etc, all the baits in the book, to no avail.
Anyway, ignore me and go back on topic like you pointed out reeleminryan. ;) Ive added my daftest moments in this thread and i cant think of anything else to add. If, and no doubt something will crop up, i will be back here and post it. ;)
lol ok mate ive got too many stupid things iv done,if id carry on sending them i would block up the site lol
jonnymoped
29-12-2008, 23:11
:showoff:second trip fishing 15years ago. fishing up from low water we were all moving back with tide only forgot to move the lug in newspaper back with us just remembered as we saw a ball of newspaper rolling in the surf: Then went and got fresh lug only to snap rod tip in a snag 1 hour later! :crazy:
worldchamp98
01-01-2009, 23:26
fishing a match on the mersey i had a flounder just under a pound first chuck ,then bugger all for the rest of the match so ithrew it back only to discover that there was a prize for the heaviest flatfish that went to the only other flattie caught ,that only weighed 9oz ! what an arse !
did something similar the next year when fishing a big match on the south coast around folkstone ,wanted to head off sharp so didnt bother weighing in what turned out to be a potential zone winning bag .
hopefully ive learnt my lesson now !
Nemesis_SLR
01-01-2009, 23:51
I was fishing a beach mark near me and it was a very cold night. i had bought my petrol powered lantern with me. as it was so cold i decided to light it up. i found that there was no petrol in it. i so filled it up and as my hands were cold i didnt tighten the petrol cap properly. unknown to me there was petrol spilling out all over the beach. When i went to light it i ended up setting fire to the beach and my umbrella. Needless to say i have never used one since!
:oops:
Seaspray
02-01-2009, 11:45
Years ago we went fishing with a mate on his boat in the Thames Estuary, we had a reasonable day so the guy who owned the boat decided he would throw a trawl net over on the way in for a few flatties and shrimp, anyhow me and a mate stood at the stern awaiting orders to throw the net over, we got the shout and just as we heaved the net over a large swell pushed the boat back into the net, which duly got tangled with the prop, as it was our fault the skipper says some has to go over and cut the net free. Guess what my mate couldnt swim, so over I went lucky it was summer, as I was under the stern cutting at the tangles I kept feeling the safety rope which was tied onto me brushing against my legs. At the time the big film in the cinemas was yes you guessed it "Jaws" so everytime this happed I came screaming back to surface, anyway managed to clear prop, tugged on safety to be pulled back and then me so called mate the non swimming one pulled the rope as hard as he could, at this point the rope had drifted between my legs, apart from being up ended, I spent the next 4 hours clutching a pair of extremly sore goolies.
The Cap'n
05-01-2009, 20:32
Was fishing for Flounder on a wide, very shallow shelving bay in the West Country recently. A starry, cloudless sky, hardly a breath of wind, and the sea in the bay like a huge, beautiful mill pond as the mist began to roll in. Oh- and very, very deep cold.
I was thinking how slack and helpful the tide was being. Thought it might be a long time before I had to cast again. Then I realised I could only just hear the sea- despite the fact I was keeping an eye on the foam at the water's edge. So I walked forward to see why the sound wasn't connected to the wave. It was then I heard a loud, crisp crunch as my boot went through a neat, four inch snow drift!
It wasn't foam I'd been watching, it was where the high water mark had frozen as far as I could see along the beach. The tide had gone out quite a long way. I'd been patiently fishing cold, damp sand for about half an hour.
two mates and fished the poingdextres comp a few years back and we drew the dreaded hamble zone. not nowing where to fish we followed the first bloke we recognized. when he stopped we stopped but he put his rest up and went to talk to a angler further up. while he was gone a big shaggy dog turned up and took a dump.unfortunatly dog was suffering from worms and scuffed his arse down anglers bright yellow triton rod bag leaving the biggist skid mark on earth . we couldnt fish first to hours of comp. never laughed so much ever. angler coulnt work out what happend and packed up early
Konstantine
06-01-2009, 12:13
After a long break from fishing I got back into it last August (08) and having a day off, checked the local paper and see a 8am high tide.
So up bright and early, got all my gear together and headed off for the beach at 6.30am. Set up and threw a bait out into the shallow water (it'll soon come up) and got the other rod set up for a bit of macky bashing for when the tide came up.
Well after about 15 odd minutes I noticed the tide getting further and further away from me and my rag worm was trying its hardest to crawl into deeper water :ohmy:
An old boy walked down and asked if I had been here all night and pointed out that a lot of mackeral had been had. Explaining that I had not and I was just enjoying some fresh air I waited for him walk out of sight and packed up quickly and went home.
Checking the local paper they had re-printed last weeks tide times :( which resulted in me burning the local paper :victory:
After that I always checked online before leaving :)
runtCatcher
06-01-2009, 18:54
I love this thread, some of the stories are hilarious. Here are a few of mine.
About 15 years ago I used to fish off of Worthing pier almost every weekend. Did I ever catch anything? Yes, I caught a lot of bullheads, a few weevers, a load of tiny wrasse and thousands of crabs, oh, and 2 eels.
Apart from the usual mistakes like getting tackle caught on the pilings and dropping gear into the sea there were a few memorable occasions.
For instance there was the time I was fishing with my brother, he had just baited up and went to take a cast, however he decided that he would try an 'alternative' casting method, which somehow meant that he hooked the detachable hood on his jacket and cast it about 50 yards into the sea. He managed to reel it back in but lost it about a foot from the platform. Mother was not pleased when we got home!
My first painful mistake was made whilst fishing from the fishing platform at the end of the pier and involved me casting an overhead lob with a bit too much line, the weight catching on the underside of the pier followed shortly afterwards by the weight smacking me in the side of the head, it wouldn't have been so bad had not the wires on the grip lead dug in to my flesh leaving two small gashes just below my right ear. But hey, it didn't stop me fishing!
I caught a seagull from the pier once, it flew straight into my line and managed to get hopelessly tangled. I dragged the poor bird to the base of the pier but then what? I couldn't just cut the line and by now I had a small crowd of onlookers. When I say small I mean it was the height of summer and about 30 people were lined up along the pier gazing down at me on the platform. Anyway after a moments deliberation I decided to haul the bird up, they are heavy! Having eventually manhandled the bird up to the platform and laying it out on the floor (with a few gasps and mutterings from above) I proceeded to untangle the bird. It had by now fallen unconscious. After about 15 minutes of cutting and detangling I had eventually freed this hapless bird from the tangle.
I must confess I thought it was dead, it was a bundle of feathers with legs and wings out at all angles and no matter what I did I couldn't rearrange it to look like a bird anymore. Most of the crowd had by this time dispersed however a few fans were still looking on and muttering. Not really knowing what to do but vaguely aware that chucking it back in the sea was not the best bet I decided to leave the bird to (hopefully) wake up.
So like any good angler I tied a new shockleader to my line, attached a rig, baited up and cast out. This was obviously too much for one lady who came storming down the steps and hurled a tirade of abuse at me. This brought more onlookers to the scene. I tried to remain calm but it was obvious that in her mind I had not only deliberately caught the seagull with my line but was guilty of a heinous act by not calling an ambulance and taking it to the local A & E! That was her suggestion anyway. I pointed out that the doctors at the hospital were probably not going to view this with much sympathy but it made no difference.
Her shouting became more frenzied and louder varying into such areas as why all fishermen are cruel, what we do is barbaric etc... She had obviously swallowed the radical hippy rhetoric hook, line and sinker. Anyway about then I got a knock on the line, so I started reeling in. This was obviously too much for the lady to bear and she stormed off shouting about calling the police and so on.
As she disappeared I reeled in a good 30gram bullhead.
About 10 minutes later the lovely lady came storming back, she proudly announced to me and anybody nearby (the crowd had dispersed by now) that she had called the police and the ambulance and that they were on their way. I wasn't really too fussed and continued fishing.
She kept floating about and I must confess she was making me a little uncomfortable now, it was mainly the smell, she stank of week old sweat and when the wind shifted I got a really good whiff of it. I wondered if maybe she stood next to the seagull the odour might revive it but thought better of mentioning anything.
Anyway, no ambulance or police arrived, but the deck chair inspector did, collecting his 50p's. This was good enough for the woman and as he approached (stepping over the comatose seagull) the mad-woman immediately started listing off all of the 'crimes' I had commited, the guy looked very uncomfortable about this but tried to placate her. The mad-woman was not having this and seeing that things were not going her way (there was a crowd again now) she ran up to me, picked up the newspaper with my lug in it and threw them into the sea before running off down the pier!
I just sat there and laughed at her, the deck-chair guy came over and tried to apologise and in the end we both had a chuckle, he let me off the 50p and I got out my feathers and tried my luck with those for a few hours. I never saw her again but just as I was packing up to leave a seagull nearly collided with me, looking up the 'dead' seagull had regained consciousness and had just taken off!
If I remember any more I will post them.
evaready
06-01-2009, 19:19
on the third night of fishing dunnet beach for the all elusive bass, the 2 nights before blanked fishing tillabout 2/3 am, on the third night we decide put a fiver each in to the kitty for the first to caught something, well the night was nearing to its end looking liek another blank, we were aboput 20 yards apart, so after taking my line i baited up (mackie) set my rod on the rod rest, pick it up and turned it 180 degrees, then lifting my rod i cast onto the beach no idea how far felt like a good one though, sat my rod on the rest and stood there watching it, by this time my 2 mates that were with came over asking what i was doing, i told them i have better chance of catching something in this direction than we have of catching anything out of the bloody see :laugh: they were ****ing themsleves laughing saying i was nuts, next i started getting bites they were speachless, on retrieving my bait thinking what the hell was on here lol got within light distance turned out to be a crab lmao, not to say the boys were ****ed that was the only thing caught that night 10 squid in my hipper and a smile on my face made up for the 3 nights lol and it made me a legend and the name of dry caster :group::showoff:
while i first dating my wife she tried to show a interest in my fishing so i took her in my rowing boat across the fleet to fish chesil. i put one rod out on the bottom and started mackeral feathering with the other. after catching a few the bread knife wanted a go. after she crossed my line for the tenth time i sent her to try further down the beach.i gave her 5 mins and went to check how she was doing when as i approached her the biggest basking shark i have ever seen surfaced about ten yards out in front of her. she jumped that much she landed on her arse ran back to the boat and made me take her home. she never wanted to come fishing again.strange girl
runtCatcher
06-01-2009, 23:45
When I were a teen, I used to regularly go fishing with my brother and a friend name Mark. It was on one of these fishing trips off the beach here at Worthing that this next incident happened.
It had become a bit of a ritual that we would take a little camping gaz stove a saucepan and a couple of tins of beans everytime we went fishing. The hope was that we would be able to cook any fish we caught but as we never caught anything worth eating it never happened, we eat a lot of beans though! The stove was one of those types that had two wire hoops that held the gas cylinder on.
Well on this day we had all drawn another blank and we packed everything up to head home. I was breaking down my rod when I heard an expletive from Mark behind me. Turning around I saw him with the stove in one hand and the canister in the other, a look of panic on his face. I told him to throw it away which he did, about 3 metres. The cylinder came to a rest and Mark was quick with the apologies, I told him not to worry but said we had better wait for the canister to empty itself.
To my brother this sounded a bit boring, so he proceeded to light a bit of newspaper and throw it at the canister, the inevitable happened and we sat looking at a can hurling out a flame about 8 feet long across the beach. Thankfully it was cold and wet so no chance of igniting anything else but in his wisdom my bro decided that it would be a good idea to put the flame out in the sea.
Ignoring my shouts he ran forward and kicked the can towards the sea, however he sort of missed and the can ended up a few feet away aiming straight towards him, in fear for his life he ran away from the can and looked down. He had managed to melt his waterproof trousers, both legs from the knees down.
A few minutes later the gas expired and then we could all have a proper laugh at my bro for being such an idiot. Thankfully there was no damage or injury to anything or anyone but he did look an idiot walking along Worthing sea front with his melted trousers.
When we were about 12 me and a mate went fishing in stockbridge near a big weir.
It was a bit of a scramble and pretty mucky to get to the mark we had used so after a pleasant days fishing we had a choice of the long messy way round, or about 20 feet up this vertical wall which had good hand and footholds, to the main road.
I was okay for it so I took all our gear and climbed up, then leant over to watch my buddys progress.
Well he got about three quarters of the way up and was looking great when his nerve went and he completely bottled it.
He point blank refused to go up, or even down the wall.
I explained to him that eventually he would tire and fall off if we didn't get it sorted soon so he should climb down, but he wanted me to pass him one of the rods to use as a kind of secure pull rope.
So I used his rod, which was better than mine, and held the cork butt end for a good grip while hanging the other end of the butt section down to him.
He grabbed the rod by the ferrule end with one hand and was about to go for it when the ferrule popped right out of the end of the rod.
Well he completely lost all his grip on the right hand side, his right hand and foot swung 90 degrees into fresh air as he swivelled on his still secure left hand and foot.
I thought my mate was finished, my eyes were popping out of my head.
But no, he swung back again just like a hinged door and fastened himself like a limpet to the wall.
It was like watching a stunt in a laurel and hardy movie.
This "near-death experience" chivvied him up a bit and fortunately he decided to finish the climb on his own, asap.
Once he was safe, I couldn't stop laughing for about twenty minutes.
Not quite funny but during a night fishing session, after I baited a worm I left my baiting needle nailed on the sand.
After the cast I placed the rod on the tripod and started looking for my needle. Naturally I couldn’t find it.
Didn’t mind for the needle but it was summer and loads of ppl would rush on the beach in the morning.
Well…looked and looked again but there was nothing I could do so I left the place.
Next week I wend down to that same spot and while I was setting my rods e.c.t. I noticed a weird thing on the sand. It was my needle still nailed in the sand as I left it!!! :wallbash:
Red a story somewhere about a rookie that wanted to load his fixed spool with line. The man forgot the anti reverse open, loaded the reel and then he discovered that he loaded it the opposite way…. :punk:
clivewire
22-08-2009, 23:14
A friend of mine decided to try a hand line in the surf looking for bass. He stuck a fully loaded rig on a spool of shockleader with a pen through the middle. Whirled it round his head like some sort of cowboy about to lasso a cow, launched it and watched the line peel off the spool at a rate of knots. The numpty overdid the power and the line on the spool ran out. He was a right sight trying to catch the line as he saw it go!
ha ha i thought u never saw that, what was i thinking.... lol still laughing nearly a year on, lets hope we bag some good'ens this winter
baitdigger
23-08-2009, 14:24
Ive done two stupid things recently:
Ive had a bit of trouble with a group of lads who recognise my van, if they see it parked up they come down to watch then seven or eight of them will fish the mark until there are no fish left there, they have stripped some of my favorite marks of conger, wrasse and pollack. Withthat in mind I drove off the road over a grassy area and planned to hide the van behind the rocks( anybody who knows the 'Burren' will know you can loose a coach behind the rocks. Half way across the grass there was a large bang and I ripped a big hole in the sump. A week and 250 euro later I got the van back.
Second thing, we were lure fishing into the dark, hooking quite a lot of stringy weed. One bit I pulled off turned out to be a jellyfish tentacle. It felt like nettle rash on my hand for two days.
Many moons ago a few of us used to fish the blast beach up in durham....any way this particular night another lad said can i come....aye why not....he said i have borrowed me uncles gear but he said if i break it he will kill me.......now you know whats coming dont you....it was about 8pm and we planned a late session......we all set up our gear and cast out......new lad takes his time sets up takes position gets ready to cast.......................throw the rod forward and there is an almighty crack......the top section of the road had snapped...you can imagine the rest of us we are ****ing ourselves.....so he put everything he has left away and says right then are we off........aye we said in about 5 hours.......never laughed as much on a beach for a long time.
Mate who i knew bought a boat on a trailer, nice it was.....took it down the south gare for a day trip, me him and his son in law.....me and the S-I-L are in waders doing the launching when S-I-L dissapears..he had walked off the end of the slip......but to put the iceing on the cake we eventually gets the boat in the water and the trailer parked up to find the boat leaking like a sieve.....bloke had forgot to put the plug back in.
:cold:
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