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SatNavRemoteFish Finder -SNARFF

  • New product just being introduced onto the market.
  • It’s called the Sat-Nav Remote Fish Finder or SNARFF for short.
  • It can be used remotely as part of your Sat-Nav system in the car.
  • This system works to locate shoals of your chosen Fish at beaches you choose to try.
  • So now you can decide where to fish and stop wasting your time going somewhere when the fish are all somewhere else.

Having scanned the beaches in the chosen sector it gives you a printout:

  • It lists, for every beach, the predominant species present, approximate numbers and sizes
  • Deluxe versions can also spot other anglers already at each venue as Carbon beachcasters are easily targeted from space

  • The chosen beach can then be re-scanned when you get closer to reveal:
  • Exact position of Fish shoals
  • Depth of water
  • Speed/direction of current
  • Marauding crabs
Then once you’ve set up, the system comes into its own. A special transducer is remotely fitted to your rig which continues to transmit details to your handset.

Here are some excerpts from a trial session I had with the system.

It is equipped, not with just the usual sibilant tones of a Dark Haired Central European Female, but with a variety of ‘personas’

She’s there alright and tells you:

“Wonderful, Power casting Swelley”, “What technique,’ve done this before, I can tell!”, “Oh, oh ….., oh that was sooo …good!”, “ Wish my man could do that!”, “Go away nasty crab” (the system is equipped with crab-scarers to preserve bait ) “Do you like my perfume?” (the system allows fish attractants to be released from your rigs) “Just move it back a little more, yes .., just right”, “Now wait, …. there is a 20lb Bass about to take your bait, wait … now tighten up and … STRIKE!” The system helps you to fight the fish sending an electric current to subdue anything that might frighten you or be lost in the surf. Once the catch is on the beach the praise (above) is redoubled at a higher volume! An additional message is then transmitted via loudspeakers to the ret of the beach, “Come on you losers come and see what a real man can do!”

To get a real balance of the system I also tried the ‘Oh-I-wouldn’t-try-there-sonny –‘cos-there’s-nothing-ever-been-caught-there’ or JONAH as he is the system:

“ No, you need to be much further out sunshine”, “Not much of a cast that was it, but then birdsnests tend to slow everyone down, don’t they!”,” Can’t say I’ve ever seen such c**p equipment on this beach before”, “No, leave it there, there’s a nice little Dab/Flounder just coming along to swallow your hook”, “Don’t strike yet!!!!!” “ Let it swallow it!”, “ No point in letting the little blighter get away, even though it’s only 4ozs, must be a personal best for you””

In the pipeline:

A deep scan which will photograph other anglers who have subscribed and have their SNARFF photo-Ids with them dangling from their Tripods

Each of the above can also purchase additional Fish Ids to hang like trophies to inform SNARFF-Scanners what they have already caught

This will allow you to decide that you’ll fish somewhere else so as not to hear them crowing!

Mk3 allows you to send your tackle plus the system, remotely, to the beach and fish for you whilst you watch the match in the Pub. They are working on a persons that encourages you to scatter litter and coaches the correct kicking of any Dogfish it allows you to catch.
Don't think i'll subscribe!1 Liked the voice though!!
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